Monday, February 28, 2005

THE D WORD!!!

Okay I have finally recovered from the dreaded seminar for divorcing parents which is really all about common sense. Now I realize that everyone doesn't have common sense and with all the technology we have today there should be a test to figure that shit out. Have a class for those with sense and those without.
Anyhow this thing is supposed to be this positive thing and they start off by labeling.
What fun a labeled paid for by me. And I have a nifty certificate with my name vs the other name. Wouldn't that be a nice reminder for the kiddies, should I just hang it on the wall. It is the most insane thing I've enountered lately. Stamp a sheet of paper and mark it done don't give me a fucking plaque.


So, because I initiated the divorce I am the" leaver". So the other person the "leavee" may be in shock so it is my responsibility not to send mixed signals.
If the signals were not mixed in the first place,
ever stop to think that there may not be a divorce happening.

Dammit the world is dumb!!

I wrote a poem about my label as the Leaver. Like to hear it here it go!

The Leaver and The Leavee

The Leaver said she'd had enough
she simply couldn't, wouldn't stay
she simply couldn't stand to be here
not another goddamn day

The Leavee didn't have a clue
never took the time to see
that the lovely Leaver wasn't happy
well, not as happy as the Leavee

The Leaver often had dreams
some would call the, well nightmares
that the Leavee got hit by a bus
or fell down a flight of stairs

But the Leavee thought that things were great
and getting better all the time
but the Leaver felt the Leavee
was trying to make her lose her mind

So as time went on the Leaver
felt she'd surely go insane
if she didn't leave real soon
put an end to all the games

So the Leaver found the courage
yes, she really got the nerve
she sat the Leavee down and suggested
they consider the dreaded "d" word

The Leavee was excited
at the thought of a possible date
The Leaver said " You've ignored me for years,
a date now! Hell, it's too late."

The Leavee seemed shocked and surprised
that she would take this course
that she would even have the nerve to utter
the dreaded word divorce

But the Leaver didn't falter
The Leaver stood her ground
determined not to let the Leavee's
poor attitude get her down

The Leavee said it was indeed
all the Leavers fault
and if the Leaver actually left
then the leavers promise was surely false

The Leaver saw immediately
that the truth the leavee wouldn't tell
so the Leaver packed her shit
and told the Leavee to go to hell

Then the Leaver relocated
settled down finally at last
and if the Leavee leaves the Leaver alone
she won't have to kick Leavee's ass

Sista Seuss 2005

Don't steal my shit!
Enjoy

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Too Much

I am almost done with my recovery and you would think things would be glowing all around.
But I have come to learn that in this life if it is not one thing it is most definitely another.
Are we in a world full of predators?
Do we or have we created a society where predatory behavior has become the norm?
Does the government not want sex ed taught in schools so that the future predators of America continue to have victims?
How in the hell does a grown ass man find pleasure with children?
Why on earth would a school teacher have sex with a student in her car in the parking lot of a school with her fucking baby in the back seat?
What planet are we all living on?
Has it occurred to anyone else that this existence could be a cruel joke and we are all the butt of it?
What difference does it make if children give Valentine's to their classmates?
Why do religious groups want to make something as all inclusive as children sharing candy or cards with friends a question of sexuality?
They start with saying Sponge Bob is gay and end with saying that if a four year old boy exchanges a Valentine with another four year old boy he may be showing homosexual tendacies.
What the fuck does that mean?
I am convinced that these groups are the problem.
That they sit around pulling out the sickness in themselves an try their best to make it our reality.
I am a little more than pissed this Thursday.
Cause it's just too much!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Got My Fix

I was having serious poetry withdrawal so I joined my daughters and mother for a night of poetry at Java Monkey! It was nice, I was over excited to the point of drooling.
Sad, really. But fun.
I guess I pushed it a bit this weekend cause I am beat.
Last night I was in arts and crafts hell and realized it was after midnight.
Didn't get to sleep till after 2.
I finished HeadGames my new chapbook!
I am very proud of myself.
After the final edit, it can be yours for 10 bucks!
Yes, I take checks.

This week I have to take a seminar for divorcing parents.
It bugs me that I have to pay 30 bucks for someone to remind me that I am getting a divorce and I have children.
Hell, I know I have children they eat over 250 dollar in groceries a month.
The Mt. Everest of laundry I constantly have climb,
the water bill, electric bill, phone bill and gas bill yes I know I have children.
But in Dekalb county you can't get a divorce until you take this class.
It's a scam one more thing to delay your escape from hell!

Friday, February 18, 2005

What the Hell Was I Thinking?

You know how when you were a kid,
not a kid but teenager you thought you were so hip and cool, much like the teenagers today? Well I can't wait for them to have the very sobering experience that I had today, cause damn!
Okay, when I was a teen I was very much into Prince.
Very much into is a huge understatement.
I was a fanatic!
So much so that I saw Purple Rain in the theater over 80 times ( not lying it had a Rocky Horror moment where it played constantly in a couple theaters for months) I would cut school to sit in the theater all day watching this flick.
I made ( yes, I am an accomplished seamstress) at least 12 pair of the pants that he wore in the film, buttons galore and wore them proudly. I took my fashion statement to college where I was kicked out of (or should I say, encouraged to leave) many classes for wearing lace outfits, my chocolate skin showing clearly through the lime green and fushia lace. Bolero hats and lace gloves were staples to my wardrobe. I often only made up half of my face and wore hoop earrings so big they could double for bracelets. All the time I thought I was very hip and cool. And at the time I think I was. But today I had a Prince film festival and I watched all two movies and Graffiti Bridge is the dumbest movie I've ever seen. I wish I could say I was on drugs when I saw it and enjoyed it but sadly, I wasn't. Purple Rain still rocks, if only for the music. All in all the day left me reminiscent of my youth and I still don't know ...................
What The Hell I Was Thinking?
And I wish I knew where my wardrobe was today cause I could recycle a trend!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Good News

I went to the doctor yesterday and I can start moving around a bit. Yeah!
I can drive my car! Yeah!
I can go on short outings! Yeah!
All in all good news.
I tried to go on a short outing after my appointment and it wiped me out. Walking around made me dizzy and want to throw up. I didn't fall down or puke up, but the sensation to do both was quite alarming.
Can I just say that Netflix is the bomb!
I have to decide if I am going to continue it after my gift subscription is over.

I'm a little nervous about driving my car.
I mean what if I forgot how?
And what if I get all dizzy and pukey while trying to remember
what I forgot about driving a stick. That could be ugly.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

On the Drugs Again

Well, It seems I didn't wean myself properly from the pain medication, which resulted in my bizarre sleep pattern. So I have to take the medication so that I can correct my sleeping patterns.
What kind of shit is that!
Take them to get off of them.
Well it worked and for the last two nights I have been able to go to sleep.
Except I stayed up till 4am watching movies Friday.

Guess what? I may have my first gig out of own in March! I am very excited and can't wait!

I have been having some serious poetry withdrawal happening.
Not pretty.
Not as bad as crack withdrawal.
But still, not pretty.
I have my check up this week and hope I can begin to resume my normal activities.
As I am going bonkers.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and here I am Valentineless.
Sob.
Maybe next year.

Happy American Forced Romance Brainwashed Consumerism Day!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

It's Official

I have definitely entered the land of insomnia.
Not a cool place, I am very tired but it feels like it felt last night and I know sleep will not come soon. So instead of laying there in the dark, I will attempt to be productive, clean the kitchen, do some laundry, create in arts and crafts hell. Maybe if I eat the fat free cream cheese it will break the spell of insomnia. Do I dare try?
Hell no, cause we all know that fat free cream cheese taste crappy!
I will not buckle so easy oh ye purveyors of fat free crappy cream cheese!
I really need to sleep, it's the only way to keep the insanity away for a while.
Sleepy vibes please, send them.

Ok, What's Going On!

It is 4:33am and again I can't sleep. What is going on?
I am very tired but my body will not shut down.
I am already dealing with the fact that I have missing pieces,
and I am in arts and crafts hell,
and I am stuck in the house,
and Sally has taken my coat,
and the fat free cream cheese people are stalking me,
to add insomnia, well that's just wrong.
I will surely go mad, and probably sooner than I've planned.
Send sleepy vibes my way please...
I'm begging.
AND IF THE WHOLE INSOMNIA THING IS A PLOY BY THE FAT FREE CREAM CHEESE PEOPLE TO MAKE ME BREAK DOWN AND HAVE A SNACK OF RITZ CRACKERS AND CREAM CHEESE SETTLING FOR THE FAT FREE CRAP CAUSE THAT'S ALL PEOPLE KEEP BUYING ME HOPING THAT I'LL DEVELOP A TASTE FOR YOUR FAT FREE CRAP, WELL I'M WIDE AWAKE AT 4:42 AM TO TELL YOU THAT I AM ON TO YOU AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

It's True

When on the back, side or at the bottom of a medicine prescription when they say," Don't drink alcohol while on this medication" they mean it.
Oh my God!
I had a glass of wine with dinner last night and was a little achey before going to bed
took the hydrocodone. Now remember I haven't slept properly in days and I hadn't slept at all the night before. Let me tell you I slept like I've never slept before. Such a deep sleep that I felt drugged, then I remembered that I was. I slept for 12 hours straight, then felt slow and draggy for about an hour after.

I have several audio books that are overdue.
I am convinced that the library police will come to get me.
Must find someone to take them back.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Fat Free Cream Cheese

Why does everybody keep buying me fat free cream cheese.
I specifically ask for cream cheese with lots of fat and they get me the fat free shit.
It's enough to give you a complex.
I mean am I heavy,
are they trying to make me eat healthier?
What?
I'd just like to say another snaking adventure foiled by
evil fat free cream cheese!

Escaped!!

I got out of the house for a bit last night and it was great!!!
It was a benefit concert starring the very amazing Doria Roberts!
There was spoken word, African dance and other musicians there, a very cool function.
When I got home I was exhausted , and still could not go to sleep. By three o'clock I gave up pretending that I was going to fall asleep any minute now. So I started laying out my new chap book. Head Games and if I do say so myself, and I do, it looks damn good!
I never know what the appropriate number of poems to put in my books, this one has about 18.
My political pieces are so damn long, they take up three to four pages, seems I have a lot to say.
I am having major poetry withdrawal. I can't wait until I can start going back to open mics.
Since I got out for a bit I'm not feeling so crazy, so my ranting has chilled for the moment.
Sorry, I'll bug out for you again real soon, I'm sure.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Funny

Today is the one day that I actually need someone to do somethings for me and I can not reach anyone. I'm not sure how funny this is but damn!
So when people say call me if you need anything do they really mean it or are they just being nice.
I hate being dependent on others.
Can't wait till I can drive my damn car!

Mashed Potatoes

Today is my mom's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope she goes out and do something fun.
Wish I could go out and do something fun.
Wish I could go out, I don't even have to have fun!!!

Today will be an arts and crafts hell day.
I will make at least 10 books and possibly do some painting.
It's tricky though, using oils on my couch with this carpet ,
oil paint stains really bad.
I can't find my acrylics, oh well, the artistic blues.
I had yummy mashed potatoes last night.
My buddy Melissa came through.
Comfort food extrodinaire!
other comfort foods are
mac and cheese
nacho's
chocolate in any form
cookies in any flavor
there are many others
but I have made myself hungry and have to go have a chocolate chip cookie with mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese on it!
Yum !!!!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

TGIF

Thank God ( or Goodness if you prefer) It's Friday!!!!
One whole week of recovery done, a possible 5 more to go. I will surely have gone round the bend by then. Not feeling all that great today, icky and achey, and fevery and nausea. Fun, Fun, Fun.
I am going to have a Will Smith film festival today and will feature
Enemy of the State
Bad Boys
Bad Boys 2
MIB
Independence Day
I, Robot
That should be enough for today.
My son Zion is supposed to come see me today.
I miss him so much but I feel like crap so I won't be much fun.
I can't go and heckle at any superbowl parties this weekend! That sucks!
People look forward to my disruption of the game and this year they won't have it. I'll just have to pour it on extra next year! Go whatever teams made it into the superbowl!!!
As you can tell I am a real fan:-)
Later

Thursday, February 03, 2005

The Art of Pillow Positioning

Okay,
my back is killing me!
It is very important that you position pillows properly to promote positive back comfort.
I did not do this last night and damn!
I guess I kinda over did it not realizing that I was doing it. But the end result is an achey Theresa. I refuse however to admit this to a certain Sally as she will use it to promote this fantasy she has about my condition that she is always right.
Lately she has been right but I cannot in good conscious allow her to know this.
I hate it when she's right!
I had a pretty good day yesterday aside from the back pain and Sally's right which is a pain in a different area.

I made several books, watched several movies and I just have to say this Brad Pitt made a wussy Achilles to me while Jamie Fox on the other hand played the hell out of Ray and better get an Oscar.

I also talked a lot on the phone to a new friend. All in all a pretty good day.
Well the only really horrible thing that happened and this is really awful and scary,
but I tried fat free cream cheese
and in addition to being one of the most nasty and frightening experiences of my life
I just want to know
What's the point of it?
What is the point of fat free cream cheese?
Fat free cream cheese goes against nature and is just wrong.
To take something so good and gross it out is evil.
But other than a ruined snack time adventure because of evil fat free cream cheese,
I had a pretty good day!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The Skinny

If you lay down to long, laying becomes painful.
If you sit to long, sitting becomes painful.
If you fry chicken too long, it will burn.
If it burns too long , the grease will catch on fire.
If the grease is on fire too long, it could burn down your house.

The mystery of the missing coat has been solved.

Sally has it.
She is holding it hostage.
She is my best friend who has my best interest at heart who doesn't realize
I have another fucking coat.
So,I will stay home and be good because there is something I want to do on Monday.

Sally disagrees and I say what is the difference between me sitting my ass on my couch and me sitting on my ass in 7 Stages theater?
I'll tell you what the difference is

Doria Roberts is not in my living room sitting on my couch!
But she will be performing at 7 Stages on Monday and I'm sorry I have to be there.
It's only for a couple hours
and I'm not walking
and or performing,
I think it will be fine.
What do you think?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Wide Awake in the Middle of the Night

I slept all day for days and now my body does not recognize the night. So I am writing about not being able to sleep and maybe what I write will be so boring that I'll nod off.
I think my friend hid my coat so I can't leave the house,
mind you I have no proof other than the fact that I can't find my coat.

Movies I watched today

Prey for Rock and Roll - Very good! The leading lady was a wanna be rock star turning forty and she was hot!!! Leaving me hopeful that in a few month when I turn forty I will be hot and since I have no real desire to be a rock star I will settle for a poet.

Deuce Bigelow Male Gigol- Stupid funny, every time I see it. Unfortunately laughing really hard for me can be really painful so I had to take a pain killer soon after.

Then as I was dozing I saw this movie about this war that really isn't a war, and how this country is fighting setting up a democratic form of government in this foreign land whether they liked it or not starring some asshole from Texas!

Then I realized I was dozing to the news!

Lost and Delirious - Very depressing

Catwoman - Just cause Halle's suit makes me smile.

Bruce Almighty- Funny, and Morgan Freeman is the coolest God ever!

Fight Club - Had to stop midway cause my friends Stacie and Karen G came over and brought me dinner and movies, will pick it up in my insomnia hours that are happening oh right about now.

We watched the Movie with Jim Carey about erasing your mind cannot think of the title, but it was damn good! Going to have to buy it, excellent!!!!

Then we watched Alien vs Predator - A movie based on total nonsense but entertaining. I especially liked the part where the only survivor is a black woman who kicks major alien ass, like so many of us black women have to do!!

Now that I'm by myself again I am watching the Mexican not sure why? Right now it's background noise with some music.

Music,
I will listen to some music and try to write some poetry.
Get off line and get into my mind
to express what it feels like to lose one's mind!
Yeahhhh
It's a dangerous job but someone has to do it!
And since I'm the only one awake it has to be me!
Where's my damn tights and cape?
Hope they're not in my coat, cause I can't find it!
Later