Sista Seuss

Monday, February 25, 2008

Friday, February 15, 2008

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

So, I can’t beat the children. For many reasons like, they are not mine and we live in the land of litigation. So, I have a few tools to deal with things like the ever existing time out. I am also creative and the idea that I may exact one of my monstrous creations keeps folks in check on big things. The fact that I’m the teacher that on a whim will call a field trip and if someone has been in trouble they know they won’t go and like my hot flashes they never know when the mood may strike me to just up and go. I also have the angry spoon. The angry spoon is a wooden spoon with angry eyes. Much like the angry eyes I wore that Halloween when I was a Mad Cow and harassed the good people at Mc Donald’s and Wendy’s..whew that was a funny Halloween…I digress. So the angry spoon is that thing I can grab and wave when they are talking too much or too loud and I can bang it on the desk to get their attention. My daughter was helping in my class one day and she thought the angry spoon could be angrier. She added a mouth. Now my angry spoon creation merely looks irritated, confused or slightly disgruntled. The other angry spoons would laugh at it and he has lost his effectiveness in assisting in matters of behavior. The kids’ sort of snicker now when I wave it around. Any suggestions on how we can restore the awesome fierceness of the angry spoon please help…remember angry spoons need love too!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

funny

Friday, February 01, 2008

fuzzy and the fuzz

i am in a better mood but a strange place. letting things go is liberating but then the pangs of regret start. i gots pangs, ya'll... but if i can stay away for two weeks i'll be over the hurdle. with other vices i can't quit cold turkey proven by the fact that i'm still smoking and other things but with the three letter word.... cold turkey is best, well not best but necessary. one week down...whew... i think it'll be easier this time to extricate myself from the past. if i'm truly seeking the future attempting to see her face then i think i might need to focus...until it gets boring.... part of the problem i think is i don't act all older...that's fucking boring. i don't like to be bored..in case that wasn't clear.. and i don't mean i have to be entertained constantly, a movie, a play, strip scrabble, creating art....a drive to the mountains, .. so there are a lot of non-boring activities that don't include the three letter word;-) i would like to do something fun this weekend i want a passionate discussion about every fucking thing like worked up passion then mindless laughing hysterical even...

and i gotta stop reading my horror scope..not that i follow them so much i just think it's ironic when they sum up my week. i was practicing on my porch last night in the rain.a police car went by. then another, or maybe it was the same one? then it went by again. slowly. then it stopped and he flashed a light at me and said
do you live here?

i look at my clothes i'm sporting the Judy Jetson flannel pajamas set that is bright as hell pink and fuzzy slippers.

Yes, officer i live here.

what are you doing?

i'm practicing my poetry for a slam on Saturday night.

for a what?

a poetry slam.

what the hell is that?

i explain. he laughs. and drives away.

fucking philistine. dude i am cursing so much today. I slipped in class twice and made fuck, fudge and shit shyite which Will said was still the same word but like in medieval times. Which made me think of Heath Ledger………

who wants to go out tonight!! call me cause well....i'm bored... i swear i am not high maintenance i just require stimulation and you can wrap that one around your head any way you like because that's probably what i mean.....just sayin!

come to the slam this weekend and judge me....you know you wanna!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sesame Street

so my class wants to do a parody of the sesame street shows of the past the shows that were deemed pg-13 and not suitable for today's preschooler. we've talked about it at length and they have some good ideas. now, make no mistake about it their production will actually be pg-13. i bought the set so they could research what issues they want to address and see if they think the pg-13 rating or the disclaimer before the episode is accurate. i can already see the reason, i still think it's a bit ridiculous but i can tell we are going to have some interesting conversations.

stranger still, i remember this episode brought to you by the numbers 2 and 3 and the letters e, w and s. i was four and remember thinking i wanted to go outside and play. watching the intro which shows the kids playing on jungle gyms, skating, hide and seek and other outdoor activities might be more confusing to today preschoolers or those children who may see this as a radical thing i mean playing outside? where's the plug for the ps2 or game cube.

the anything people are the puppets who chose their identity. whether they want to be a girl or boy. man or woman, blond or brunette... scandalous. we learned that milk comes from cow? what? ernie starts by taking a bath and asking bert to bring him a bar of soap. he instructs bert to drop it (the soap) in his rosey? claims its the name of his tub? bert hangs out while he bathes... then later ernie is drying himself in the company of bert? he doesn't even turn away??...screams domestic partnership or THE GAY..

z is painting and counting to ten with enthusiasm. he's asked for a glass of milk. he's being hypnotised clearly this is an evil tool. i mean i grew up drinking milk and riding my bike without a helmet and never broke a bone? i had a kid fall over last year off of a picnic bench she might have fallen a foot or two, broke her collarbone..milk does an old school body good?

i often hung out with the neighbors to have snacks... gordon has a little girl with him and he explains that she is new to the neighborhood and is introducing her to all the people in the neighborhood. she's not lost or abducted. she meets big bird (who looks a little scary. his eyes to close and he seems a little off), oscar the grouch is orange in the early episodes. then she's alone in a room with two men and a frog...disturbing. cookie monster is eating the letter w and if i'm not mistaken he tries to eat kermit... eating frogs is bad, unless you're french. but now kermit is fighting with the letter w....weird.

i'm going to go guess which thing is not like the other. this blog brought to you by the letters e, s and w and by the numbers 2, 3!