unfucking believable

This is long and I'm pissed, get a snack, and some coffee.

so last night i was supposed to be a featured performer at Jazzman's Cafe on the Morehouse campus. The program was to address the issues between Spelman and Morehouse and was sponsored by Men Stopping Violence. Very cool and I was honored to be asked to use my voice to speak out against violence against women and the misogyny that runs ramped.
This was the first event that this brother had organized so I knew there might be bumps. Turns out he didn't secure a spot in the show that already happens at this venue. OK
The young man hosting the event refused to give up a block of time for Men Stopping Violence. OK
Our feature turned into signing up on the open mic list. OK
So basically I would be paid to read one poem..OK
Phoenix Y Z and I arrived at 7pm for a show that began at 7:30 that really didn't start until almost 8:30. OK

When we arrived I realized that the young man hosting this show was the same young man who came in last at the Art Amok slam last weekend.I have worked with him before but he never remembers me. He won't have that problem again.
I have a theory about clicky spots, and If I know the spot tends to be clicky I don't mind it can be entertaining at times. Our names are being pushed down the list. For a moment I think is he pissed because he didn't win? Is he doing this cause he's piss that this other group tried to insert themselves?

The third poet up is a young man who came in second at our slam. He gets on the mic and says he was in the bogus slam last weekend, and he lost to a white girl who did a poem about breezes blowing across the earth and under her bed. He butchers her name quite on purpose. Proceeds to tell the crowd of more than 80 folks not to support Art Amok because we are racist and not down with the black man. That he knows he should have won the 50 dollars and the all-expense paid trip to Austin(what? no fucking body rides for free)? They gave me some CD and a book talkin bout how its so good book by patty somebody. That he was going to do the same piece he did then and they tell him if he should have won. He proceeds to do his piece. as misogynistic as it was they loved it.

I am pissed.
Then the host gets all embolden and says yeah, can the crowd believe that he came in last and they even forgot to say my name. Don't support wack poetry spots. Don't support Art Amok. Pho and I are livid. Two more poets go. I seethe. They call my name. I get on the mic.

I say, You know brother I apologized to you when I didn't say your name in the right order at the slam.
His mouth gapes,"That was you?"

"Yes,(in the mic) I was in drag and I am aware that I make a damn good looking man but that was me, I am Theresa Davis the (I took liberties here for effect) captain of the 2006 Art Amok Slam Team. I stand her(I look at my skin) black so I don't think the conspiracy theory holds. Slams are random and the venue has nothing to do with the scores you received from the judges. Brother who came in second you told a great story you left out some details, the most major being that at no time was an all expense anything promised, the book I gave you was by Patricia Smith a damn near legendary slam poet, you didn't lose based on the judges you could have won had it not been for the time penalty. There are rules in slam those being poems must be 3 minutes, the poem is too long for slam, and if you chose to let the judging of five random people dictate the worth of your words, you ego is not suited for slam. It's a game and if you don't know the rules maybe you shouldn't play. Judges, judge based on content, style and performance, I am a slam poet."

I get back on the topic of Men Stopping Violence. Talk about the different kinds of violence including verbal for the sour poets. Then I step away from the mic and proceed to slam the shit out of Lepidoptery. I have never performed that piece like that. The noisy coffee house was dead silent except for the sound on my big ass mouth. The line "can you trust a system fearful of butterflies" directed at the host. His mouth still gaping. The crowd erupts at the end. My parting word don't believe the hype come check Art Amok out for yourself, form your own opinions!

Pho goes after me. She explains how she was supposed to be here for this because if someone had told her that another poet would diss the venue like that she wouldn't have believed them.She can only imagine what was said at The Apache when he (the 2nd place dude is the host at that venue) was freshly pissed that he didn't win. Blasted them for putting down the women who organize and work hard for Art Amok and the irony of us being there to speak on the topic of misogyny. She nails her piece.

Then we do what I never do. We get our cash, blatantly pick up our shit, and leave. The host trying to recover as we are leaving, yes he sees us, trips over his tongue and knocks over the mic.....something about knowing you are wrong..let's call it Karma.

Coffee $ 3.75

1 Poem $ 75.00

Calling motherfuckers out as liars in their own spot at their own mic AND proving them to be the self absorbed, ego-maniacal , assholes that they are in the process.....priceless!
link

April

Tommorow Night!!

yikes

so you know how i have this fear of stuff hauling stuff
my near misses
death by chirstmas tree
death by port - o - potty
" by matress and washer dryer combo
when i saw this i was so glad i wasn't behind it
i have never seen a marta train hauled in this manner
yikes

well at least we get a pool??

So this was the view this morning!!






And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
Of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Truffula Tree of them all!

You Know You Want to Be There

in progress

there must be a way of making
the transitions smoother
experiences more pleasant
my life as this women
salted
peppered
with pains and delight
events that dance
through my psyche sugary sweet
or leave me wiping de ja vu tears
of drowning sorrow
wet faced remembering the present

losing my virginity
not at all what is was built up to be
took three tries to find my rhythm
only to switch dj’s in my thirties

a car accident in the third trimester
with my second child
rear view mirror terror
struck from behind
i saw it coming
warned my passengers of the pending impact
twisting my roundness to grip my first
in her piece of shit car seat
the gnashing of metal
fingernails on chalkboard
my belly ate the steering wheel
my first slips
slides under the seat
car still in motion
belly lodged
i grab her up
remove a French fry from her hair
deposit her in my sister’s lap
she sitting shotgun
they screaming in unison
before the car stopped
seat belt disengaged
rage filled tears
throwing open his door
my words yelled slurs
he takes in my form
his cell phone the size of a block of cheese
falls to the street
the call dropped for sure
he reaches for me
i watch the clouds

this memory always
brings a hand to my belly
tattooed wheel marks
replaced by the kind that stretch
a now empty vessel
a womb once invaded by renegade cells
removed
a residual memory where my children once lived
a long lost x ray
film you don’t want developed
a piece of my puzzle
slips out of place to complete
a picture of me
this woman in this life

i’m here again
familiar surroundings
again hearing the tale of marauding cells
that seems to have retreated, regrouped
found a new battle field
cleverly disguised as my left breast
a war not confirmed
cold harsh instruments seeking
malignant masses
poked prodded
tired
another piece of me under threat

they tell me no battle is raging
within the flesh amour
holding in the ribs
that wrap my heart
for now they add
as seriously as
a backwards glance
i never want to be here again
six months from now
i’ll have no choice
i will make my transition smoother
for if peace talks fail
and the war begins
hand over my left breast
following the heart beat within
i’ll be ready to fight

My God Boy!

this shit is funny

This is the video that dead presidents is linked to on you tube. ha!

Wild Women

mom and i

finally i decompress.

what a weekend!

i spent it doing what i love surrounded by the folks i love.

poetry and karen g, ami mattison, collin kelley, rage, vagina jenkins, stacie b, pho yz, heather, mom and the finale with miss doria (fine-ass) roberts!

who needs sleep?

me actually and lots of it.

Thread

the thread stretched
near the breaking point
i've been here before
hell i live here
my strings always taut
stretched and stretched
leave marks on my body
adds a swagger to my step
implying a guttural coolness
cause saying you're tired is too cliche
i can do this
spread thin
i won't stick to bones
this mask around my eyes
the bandit
stealing my time and
i don't want it back
i want to get it all done
now and lotus position my way
back to myself
stretching like the minutes
that pass too quickly
the days that should come with meters
so i can drop my pennies to add
more time
and time again creeps me into submission
my kingdom for a pillow
my crown for comfort
i can do this
it's what we do
we women
we mothers
we keep it going
cause who else is going to do it
eyes heavy with accomplishment
my reward
the looks on their faces
baptized by their gratitude
falling backwards into love
pouring down
like summer rains
drenched in my dedication
a deluge the washes away doubt
reminds me why i am here
kneeling sometimes
not cause i'm weary
praying for the strength
absorbing
why i do this
i can do this
for them
for my children
the thread will hold

until it doesn't

i can do this

until i can't

i can't wait around for that day
i don't have time

TONIGHT!!!

The AWP Conference is in full swing, and one of the big off-site
readings
will be happening Friday (March 2) night as part of the monthly Poetry
at
Portfolio Center reading/open mic. Our special guest features will be
award-winning poets Peter Pereira and Ann Fisher-Wirth (more on them
below).
Sign up for the open-mic portion will begin at 7:30 p.m. and the
reading
gets under way at 7:30 p.m.

Also during the evening, poets featuring on Saturday at the AWP reading
"OUTspoken" will also perform, including Theresa Davis, Franklin
Abbott,
Larry Corse and Robin Kemp.

Portfolio Center is located at 125 Bennett St., just off Peachtree
Road, in
Buckhead. Mick's restaurant is on the corner, so you can't miss it.
Come all
the way to the end of Bennett and PC is on your right. Plenty of free
parking. And the event is FREE! Visit www.portfoliocenter.com if you
need
directions.

After that

I got Tubed!!

Saturday

Theresa Davis Featured Peforming Artist





Come Share Your Love with LLL and Theresa Davis This Saturday

The event you've heard about, read about, can now be experienced first hand this Saturday, February 24th at Aphrodite's Toy Box. In collaboration with Aphrodite's Toy Box, Felicity Nuance, and Labrys Atlanta Magazine, Nghosi Books is bringing you its Ultimate Pleasure Series with the premiere of Sexy Saturday Storytelling!

One of our featured spoken word artists for the evening will be Theresa Davis. Theresa is one of Atlanta's best known performance poets, giving voice to the things that you've been thinking but never could articulate. She has gone on to forge an impressive career as a solo performer, winning poetry slams, and featuring at spoken word venues around Atlanta and the nation, as well as leading writing and performance workshops and headlining conferences across the southeast. She is a member of The Word Diversity Collective/Art Amok and represented Atlanta as a member of the 2006 Art Amok Slam Team in Austin, Texas last summer. Theresa continues to document her poetry as a staff writer of Labrys Atlanta Magazine. Her children Imani (18), Tia (17) and Zion (6) are her constant sources of energy and inspiration.


So please join Theresa Davis this Saturday, February 24th from 8:00p.m. - 10:30p.m., as she and the other talented artists share their blessings with us.

ART AMOK & CLITERATI!!!

Cliterati & ART AMOK!
present
AMY WEAVER
Thursday, February 22nd, 8pmat THE SPOT
736 Ralph McGill Blvd.
ATL (between block Lofts, & Tower II)
Because open mouths need food & words!
$5 for the artist
AMY WEAVER is introspective, fearless, and dynamic. She is a survivor whose work covers literacy, feminism,
diversity and biting social commentary. She loves to perform, was born to teach and hopes to someday
be worth her weight in poem.She's so brave, she can talk about her Vag in a room of hundreds.
PS (THIS IS HER BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!) Audio samples of her work can be found at www.myspace.com/amyweaver.
THEN
ART AMOK! Slams w/ Amy Weaver!
Saturday, February 24th
$6, FREE to slam,
first come first served slam sign-up 9.30pm
7 Stages Theater
1105 Euclid Ave.
ATL, 30307 (next to Variety Playhouse in Little 5 Points)
404-523-7647 box office
AMY IN SLAM POETRY:
As a part of the Dallas SLAM poetry scene, Amy's accomplishments in the past 5 years include:

2001—Team Dallas (rookie year) wins the National Poetry Slam, bringing the first championship to Texas.
2004—February, represented Dallas at the first Individual World Poetry Slam
in Greenville, South Carolina
2004----August, Team Dallas, takes 3rd place over more than 70 Teams at the NPS held in St. Louis, MO.
Her poem achieved the highest score of the evening in the team finals round.
2006—Competed and coached a 1st year team from Dallas--Pugsley's Library at the NPS held in Austin.
The team was highly acclaimed for their group work, and Amy's performance as an individual poet
landed her on the Individual Finals stage, placing 10th in the nation.
She is only the 3rd Dallas/Fort Worth poet to reach the Individual Finals at NPS.

Other credits

Since 2004, Amy has been mistress of all things poem at the Annual Deep Ellum Arts Festival. She schedules all of its performers and volunteers for the poetry stage for this 3-day outdoor event, uniting readings across the DFW metroplex with slams and readings held throughout the weekend, as the on-site coordinator. She also hosts many of the events held throughout the festival.

Amy has been featured at numerous Slam venues, poetry events, and festivals across the nation, including the Nuyurican, Bar 13, and Bowery Poetry Club in New York City, some of the most prestigious venues in the country. She is the author of 4 poetry collections, Snapshots and Confessions(2000), Naked (Snapshots and Confessions (2003), and Look Both Ways Before Jumping Off This Cliff (2005). She has also released 2 spoken word CD's, Naked (2001) and People, Places, and Things (2005). She is available for Feature Performances, event hosting, writing and performance workshops, and lectures.
In May of 2006, Amy graduated from the University of North Texas earning a B.A. in both English Literature and History. She worked on-campus for 3 years in the Office of Disability Accommodation as the Lead Test Proctor and Assistant Testing Coordinator. She was also active in the local chapter of GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Denton).

--
Because open mouths need open mics.
http://cliterationline.com

Celebrate Good Time

HAPPY FORCED AMERICAN ROMANCE BRAINWASH CONSUMERISM DAY!!!





Yes, I said it.
What happened to the days when you just knew someone was your Valentine.
They didn't have to be exclusive just allow you to give them a little card that said something clever like,"I CHOO CHOO CHOOSE YOU!"
Now there is built in rejection.
I watched helplessly as countless middle schoolers were shut down by potential valentines. Sad! I became default valentine for a few meaning the chocolate gods were kind!

I didn't ask my valentine to be my valentine officially, sorta just assumed valentineship. Hopefully shut down is not in my future!

the true test

Empathy for Anna

i just finished having a pretty good conversation with my students. it's always interesting when pop cultures offers up a teachable moment. one of my students is pretty upset about anna nicole. she says she just feels so sad and she's not sure why. of course the calloused child in the classroom took this as an opportunity to try to make her feel stupid so i felt it was my duty to step in. i asked her what she was feeling and what did she know about anna nichole.

she said,"i knew that she had done a lot of scandalous things like marring a really old man and being labeled a gold-digger. i know she would grant interviews and appear at events drunk or high slurring her speech. Her reality show was pretty embarrassing. she was the first girl who didn't look like she'd blow away to be a model for guess jeans. that makes me proud of her."

"is that all?" i prompted.
her voice cracked she said, "i also know that she had a baby and lost a baby a few days from each other. that she was being sued for paternity and other stuff. that she was unhappy and had fought so hard to maintain some kind of dignity. i think she gave up because all of a sudden life seemed to hard. it was easier not to be here. i mean even looking at her baby girl something that makes people happy had to bring her pain. a constant reminder of what she'd lost. i really think she died from complications of a broken heart. this world, people, love can break you. she was broken."
she started to cry.
hell i cried.

i stood hugging her for a long time. the other kids were glassy eyed but to tough to let the tears spill. i told her, "while i don't know everything about everything and i am no authority on anna nicole, i think you reaction is normal because you are human. the human in us allows for sympathizing with others. what you are displaying with your emotions is empathy."

she asked what that was.

"it's an attribute that young people are often accused of not having. it makes me proud that you are human and that even when others are broken you can feel the human in them. very admirable. please don't lose it. it doesn't make you weak or crazy to empathize with others it makes you human, reminds you that you are alive and you value other alive things and that you feel a connection when they are gone. being human is a good thing."

Tomorrow Night!

boob alert

it is my opinion that somethings
shouldn't happen to nice boobies.
my boobies aren't the best boobies in the world,
but they are nice. the mammogram machine. not nice.
boobies don't fold.
i found it difficult and uncomfortable to
stand facing one direction while
my boobie was forced to play twister with
a machine whose sole purpose is taking pictures
while squashing said nice boobie.
i was told my boobies are dense.
not dense meaning dumb and i realize
dumb people are often called boobs,
but my boobies are quite intelligent as boobies go i think.
for instance they know instinctively
when i am attracted to someone and
get perky kind of a go for it thumbs up..
only with nipple action.
i was told that with dense(not dumb)
boobie tissue a more accurate test would be a sonogram.
then the bastard man sends the order for a mammogram.
now if a sonogram will do the same thing
without the squishing it would seem that
that would be the main form of testing.
if men had to stick their willies into
a machine that twisted and smashed,
someone would come up with a better fucking test.
i feel for the flat-chested.
i was one of them before having children.
the things that machine could do to flat-chested women
....i shudder to think.
i took an extra mammo-wipe because..well it's funny.
now that i am over forty i get to have one of these every couple years!


ouch!

i googled myself

it's me and karen g!!!!

oops

ever have a dream so vivid and real
that you wake up pissed
and the more you think about the more pissed you get
then you pick up the phone
call the offending dream wrecker
and go the fuck off!!!?

so when that happens.....
is chocolate or flowers the appropriate apology?
and exactly how long does it take for them to stop thinking you insane.
and if you do a flower chocolate combo will that make it better?
damn my vivid dreams
and creative mind
and quick trigger cell phone dialing finger.....
did i mention the bass ale????

Ladyfest South this weekend!!!

Ladyfest South is here !!!

Yes!!!
Starting this Thursday the 25th.
Our venues are
EYEDRUM
IF Coffeehouse,
The EARL
The Five Spot
and Grandma Lukes.

Schedule
*schedule subject to change slightly, if you can't access links to artist pages
or venues, they're also up on our website (see below)

Friday, January 26, 2007
IF Coffeehouse - http://www.ifcoffeehouse.com
in Little 5 Points corner of Euclid and Morland Ave behind BOND Credit Union, in parking lot across from Charis Books & More on Euclid
7:00 PM - 10:00 pm
------------------------------------------------------------
Gypsee Yo
Amena Brown
Juliana Finch
Sabrina
Barb Carbon
Valencia Bey
Rana
Nicole Reynolds



Earl - http://www.badearl.com
488 Flat Shoals Ave Se, Atlanta, GA
8:00pm - 2:00 AM

Theresa Davis
Stacie Boschma
Corey Houlihan
Katz of Athens Boy's Choir
Amy Weaver
Oriflamme
My Siamease Self
Box
8 inch Betsy
Sonia Tetlow/STB


Saturday, January 27, 2007

Grandma Lukes (Little 5 Points) http://www.grandmalukes.com
1156 Euclid Ave Atlanta, GA
Across from Finley Park

2:00 pm - 6:00 pm
-----------------------
Meet n greet the artists 2pm - 6pm
Lunch and a Movie 2pm - 4pm
FOUND - Sherri Larsen
What Don't You Understand About - Amy Lynn Kazymerchyk
Airplanes - Jen Heck
Screw The Van - Maggi, Pierce, and EJ


5 Spot - http://www.fivespot-atl.com
1123 Euclid Ave. Atlanta, GA 30307
6:00 PM - 2:00 AM
----------------------------------------------
Maggi, Pierce and EJ
Simply Sil
Beki Buchanan
Iron Roses
Christina Rubino
Ryka
Kendall Roark
Mel Gordon
Corey Houlihan
Weaklazyliar
Kelcy Mae
Sonya Renee
The Drexlers
Giddy-up, helicopter!
(S)HE
Lisa Hahn and the Dot Com
Marla Hooch
Beehive


Sunday, January 28, 2007
Eyedrum - http://www.eyedrum.org
290 MLK JR. DR., Suite 8, Atlanta, GA 30312
Look Up Our Shorts (Film):
6pm running throughout the night
FOUND - Sherri Larsen
What Don't You Understand About - Amy Lynn Kazymerchyk
Airplanes - Jen Heck
Screw The Van - Maggi, Pierce, and EJ

PERFORMANCES: 6:00 PM - Midnight
---------------------------------------------------
Louisa Merchant
Manisha Shahane
Dr. Madelyn Hatter
Mare Wakefield
Phoenix YZ
David & Roselynn
Lady Lace
Leah Morgan
Theory
Three 5 Human
Small Framed Boy

(Poet’s Lounge Cypher throughout. Open-no mic)




This is a great deal-- you can see all 50+ performers, bands/films & poets for $30 OR a day pass is $10 each night.
Tickets can be purchased at http://www.ladyfestsouth.org
All access passes can also be bought at Charis Books & More.
Day and all access passes will also be available at the door.


Creative Loafing article - http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A184785
Southern Voice article - https://www.sovo.com/2007/1-19/arts/feature/feature.cfm


Lad/yfest South is a non-profit, Southern-based, four-day festival that showcases, celebrates, and promotes the artistic, organizational, and political talents of women in order to raise money for social service projects that assist women. Lad/yfest South occurred in 2002 and 2004; and benefited organizations such as Project Safe in Athens, Georgia; Refuge House in Tallahassee, Florida; DeKalb Rape Crisis Center; Women's Resource Center to End Domestic Violence; Youth Pride in Atlanta.
Featuring talented women from diverse backgrounds, Lad/yfest South includes live music, spoken word, theatrical performances, films, workshops, and meetings. It is an empowering endeavor built upon a foundation of activism and information, and resource sharing mixed with entertainment and fun.

Volunteer-driven and organized by women, Lad/yfest South welcomes everyone-of all ages, genders, backgrounds and communities- to attend and participate.

http://www.ladyfestsouth.org

Road Rage

so my 6 year old son has the best sense of humor in the world.
i know most mom's think their children are the cutest, smartest, most talented and most beautiful children in the world.
it just happens to be true in my case.
so i am merging into highway traffic doing at least 50 when it comes to a sudden halt before the end of the merging ramp. i curse. i am trying to get in the left lane and these bastards won't let over and i say,"damn bastards, let me over!"
a truck pretends not to see me and i have to lay on the horn. i believe i called him an asshole.
my son says,"mom, maybe this movie should be restricted."
i look in the back seat where there are at least 4 movies, the whole dvd in the car thing.
"what movie?"
"this one."
"which one?"
"THIS ONE!"
i am craning my neck to see which movie and trying to change lanes at the same time and i see that he is pointing around the car.
"which movie?"
"the one we are in, because you're cussing!"
he's hilarious...i heart him!

the stars say...part of my horoscope for today

Keep in mind that nothing around you is very stable so you can't really rely on other people to ground you at this time. Instead you need to shut the rest of the world out for a moment and focus. Close your eyes for a minute and get centered. Calm your mind and let go of your responsibilities for the time being.

egads

You breezed in to my life
Took my breath away
Stole my heart,
Scrambled my senses
Made me feel new
Wrapped up in you
I fear nothing
I fear everything
I fear you

This feeling is not real
And I don’t trust it
I’ve never been here before
I don’t trust my instincts
I’ve been here before
Vulnerable and self destructive
I believe everything
I believe nothing
I believe you’ll turn your back

Trying to hold on to something
That squirms from your touch
Is never a good thing
I’ve been here before
I’ve never been here before
Words leave my lips
And I look for the speaker
To explain why I should be exposed
I am afraid of nothing
I am afraid of everything
I am afraid of you

You breezed in to my life
Left me cold
Took my breath away
Choked me with regrets
Stole my heart
This empty vessel condemned
And unworthy
Scrambled my senses
Made the impossible seem real
Made me feel new
Left me feeling old
Used and unwanted
Wrapped up in you
I suffocate myself
The realization that you can not
Lose what you’ve never had
Brings me to my knees
Struggling for breath
As I beg heartbreak
Not to come near
Dreams get stuck
On the broken edges of reality
And can be used against you
Or taken away
On a breeze

Divorce Party

We had fun like we do at home we just added shiny shirts;0

you know

Free Myspace Pictures from drewpydraws

a work in progress

Splintering
Sharp edges slicing through timelines
Wrapped in barbed wire
Placed in capsules
Never meant to be opened
Ever
Locked away
Rusty keys
Fist gripped
Hidden
Like angry words
There’ve been times
When I’ve held my tongue
Denied my voice
Spared others
A regurgitation of heartache
Messy and filled to the brim with anguish
My past
A gag reel exposing soft parts
Weaknesses that long to be protected
The lighting is bad here
My imperfections look better in low light
Flashes of what was etch stitches of pain on the present
These images of you tattooed on my eyelids haunt my dreams
I try to rid myself of memories of you
This persistence depiction
Of me splayed while you hack me to pieces
With my dreams
Disorganize my thoughts
Mugging me
Leaping forward
At moments to divest me of my peace
When I am vulnerable
These thoughts of you
Our past
Amplify the present
And this present
The on without you
Is bad enough
Without reverb

it has been a long couple of days.
we slammed against knoxville last night.
it was great!
i love knoxville, they are incredible people.
we were supposed to stay but i had ex-husband drama.
and suddenly remembered why i was so fond a the running him over with my care daydream. i knew i would be tired but my goddess, my thought was an understatement. i do not recommend being up for more than 24 hours and making a turn around trip to anywhere. i was so hyped on rock star and coffee that when i finally went to bed, my skin was tingling. remember that cartoon with the therapist where he was drawn to look like he was jittery? i felt like that looked. i was ok on the drive until i dropped off the last passengers. my peripheral vision was beyond blurry and oncoming traffic seem slowed and close. was very relieved to make it home.
i slept until 6pm.
i have never slept that long.
the end

i lied.
i feel drained.
the only good things in my life right now are my kids and my writing. even though my writing of late has bee sporadic and crap.
being miserable is not something i do well.
i have to go find some happy, hell at this point i'll even take the band-aid kind.
i've been trying to be more honest about my feelings with the people i care about.
it makes me feel vulnerable.
i don't like feeling vulnerable.
so i won't do it anymore, besides, it changes nothing.
i'm still ignored.
still re translated.
still lonely no matter how many people are around.
and still unhappy.
the only difference communicating my feelings has made id that more people know how i feel....and it doesn't matter because they really don't care about me.

Twinge

it has been a little over a year since the flaming fan of death incident.
last night i had vivid dreams of the fire stepping on the flaming melted plastic and metal over and over again.
then the hot flashes kicked in. not sure if they were authentic or dream induced but i had twinges all night. i found myself limping this morning.
right now there is an ache that's not really there.
phantom pains.....strange wondering if it will be one of those injuries that flairs to warn me of something ahead.

for those who don't know but want to, in October 2005 at about 2-3 in the am the box fan in my daughter's bedroom catches on fire. they yell out FIRE!!! i stagger into the room and pick up the flaming fan. the flames go for my face, as i am duck walking it to the bathroom to put out in the tub, and i realize my hair is loose. i step backwards and my foot lands in a puddle of melted plastic and metal. i get the fan in the tub, put it out. fling open windows and go back to sleep. later the burn has turned into something else well it's still a burn but it's really bad, 3rd degree. i try to go to work. i am retarded. i end up at the emergency room, and leave with crutches and one of those funky boot shoes that make everything you wear look bad. the shoe lasted two days.the burn several months.

The coolest flyer ever!

no commando here

What Item of Clothing Are You?
Underwear You're sexy and fun! You go, girl!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Last Night

what a great way to kick off a new year in spoken word.
the event was amazing!
i got to release my inner pirate in front of clergy and two of them want me to do spoken word sermons at their church. wtf
katz and i began the evening having a conversation with a priest.
we were talking shit to each other and he was trying to edit his poem so as not to offend the preachers. the priest walked by, we put on our good little poets faces and the priest pulled out a cigarette. we both wore faces of ...huuuuuuu
i lit him up.
katz asked if he could say what he wanted to say and if the priest would tell him if it was offensive.
the priest was like," that's the shit some people need to hear."
our jaws are dropped and there might have been drool.
he gives us a mini sermon where we find out he's queer and god made him the way he is and he wasn't going to let the bullshit of the church stop him from being a preacher.
we jawed for a minute then katz and i were called to begin.
i opened, bad idea.
i have never had standing o's while still performing. the priest sitting up front was glowing so and digging every word.
kats won he cursed way more than me and people up on their feet throughout.
after, the priest walks up to me and say, " i had no idea who i was talking to, you are fucking incredible! you are saying all the things that need to be said. i started my church because i got tired of hearing all the bullshit. would you be interested in doing a sermon at my church. my congregation would love you."
i asked if the sermon was like an open mic.
i think I'm going to do it.
i said this year i wanted to try new things.
this i think definitely qualifies!

art of politics

very nervous
i haven't performed since last year
do i know how to do it....?
kidding i think.
i love katz not the animal but the spoken word animal.
that will make the diff.
yeah, art of politics
i shall let the pirate out and wreak some havoc
what a great word havoc
i shall incorporate it more in my vocabulary
www.gps2007.org

hmmm

January 2, 2007
A rush of optimism and enthusiasm could propel you into a more positive frame of mind, Theresa, and while in this state of mind you could accomplish wonders. Your circumstances in life could be totally turned upside down; a change in residence is possible, as is a change in your working circumstances. Don't cling to the banks, flow with the tide. Success and good fortune are on the way - as long as you let it happen!

07

rough beginning
day two of the new year
i joined an online dating thing
not sure what that means
plans i was making have to change

very upsetting

so

change has to happen differently
i just have to figure it out
if it looks like what i have now
i will have to flee

07

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Slap stupid people in the head. Get your resolution here.

survey

WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Diane, but if you call me that...i'll have to cut you.

WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING NOW?
salmon...not pink that's girly

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the sounds of silence

WHAT ARE THE LAST TWO DIGITS IN YOUR PHONE
NUMBER?
35

what was the last thing you ate?
grilled cheese with tomato yummm


if you were a crayon what color would you be?
purple

HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
fucked up and foggy

who was the last person you talked to on the
phone?
Rochelle...don't ask

the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
nothing?

FAVORITE TYPE OF FOOD?
usually there's cheese involved unless it's dessert the there's whipped cream involved unless it's sex then there could be whipped cream or cheese involved...that's gross just threw that in to make myself giggle...it worked

do you drink?
you buying?

What's your favorite drink?
coffee unless i'm out and about then there is beer or long island iced tea

ever so drunk you don't remember what you did?
yes, don't ask, i don't remember


hair color?
black and brownish...a little grey cause i'm old

eye color?
brown

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
not yet, but i have a check up soon, so that could change

FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
the one where christmas trees don't tear up your car

favorite month?
may, my birthday month where i party allllllllll month long

have you ever cried for no reason?
in the middle of it right now, thanks for the distraction

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
my super ex girlfriend with my ex girlfriend....ironic no... fucking demonic and masochistic

FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
my birthday...tells me that i'm here

are you too shy to ask someone out?
sometimes, but not usually

if you could say something to someone right now..... what would it be?
stop...this hurts

hugs or kisses?
hugs....kisses lie

chocolate or vanilla?
i like both

what books are you reading right now?
nothing exciting, books i assigned my middle school class
things not seen and star girl not terribly exciting...i told you

piercing?
just the ears

Fun and Good Times

last night was fun!!
friends, friends and family.....kwanzaa......
cleo's sweet potato cheese cake
oh my damn it was some good with or without whipped cream
chocolate fondu
cranium....didn't know my humming skills were not up for the challenge
stacie, karen, melissa, kathy, tana
two exes and a missed op in the house
my kids having fun
turning heidi's hands purple
slightly tense vibe
the rum helps
house is a mess
going to go work in my classroom now
release some pentupness

Tonight

TONIGHT@ CLITERATI!!!!
Hasan Davis my brother extrodinaire!
8pm at The Spot next door to Tower Two
Be There or you'll be sad!

stay home

must not leave the house again today
i have never seen a person get hit by a car
that was my christmas present about 2pm
i scream and slam my breaks like i was the one who hit him
dialing 911 watching the person who hit this guy almost drive away
myself and the three other motorist who stopped in their tracks yelling at him to fucking stop and shouting locations to 911 operators
i want to believe that if it was the middle of the night
no cars on the road
that he would have stopped
checked on this poor man
i want to believe that people care
and that he is one of those people.....
or would he have gone about his day
like he didn't impact someones world
they moved the man
his head was in the street
feet resting on the sidewalk
he almost made it across
when i saw blood i got no closer
i just kept saying i don't think you should move him
he was dazed, bloody and talking when i drove away
i could hear the ambulance in the distance
i looked the driver in the eyes before i pulled away
if he hadn't had an audience
if no one else had stopped
he would have driven away
his eyes told me so

Merry Christmas already

so, i remember why i don't do the holidays
aside from the attack of the would be killer Christmas tree of 2001
the expression of joy flying at me
ripping a gaping hole in my car but leaving a smattering of tinsel
to complete that holy shit intensity that overtakes you when your life flashes before your eyes Saturn emblem flying skyward
defensive driving rocks!
for two days i've been forced to leave my home to do odd tidings here and there for family
no i don't mind sitting in highway traffic for hours on end
no i don't
so today i had to go to wal-mart
not particularly because i want to be in any store
especially that one
in the pre countdown shopping nightmare that is this season
3 items
all i have are three items
i learned that 10 items or less means nothing
15 or less means even less
but i also learned that if you work at wal-mart
get off work
decide to shop with the rest of us fools
that there is a secret express line for you
that you can roll up with your 32 items( i counted)
in the 10 items or less line
pull up on the wrong side like you're in England or something
look like you are supposed to be there
take over the cashiers register
commandeer the little wand thingy
ring up your shit
never making eye contact with the customers you've usurped
only offering a sidelong glance as that one
dreaded (in more ways than one)
customer in the dyked out jacket
pirate head scarf
t shirt emblazon with the smiley face
with duct tape over its mouth
with the caption
silence is golden,
duct tape is silver
who is in fact counting out your order
loudly
to the tune of some jingle that has left my brain
cause clearly counting as well as good manners have eluded you
i comment that i think all wal-mart employees should benefit from the
secret express lane and i am going to suggest it to the managers
black people blush and turn colors
i wished her a merry whatever
don't tell me i'm not just dripping
with sentiments of merry fucking Christmas

kunundrum

today is global orgasm day??
gonna need some help to celebrate properly....call me

tongue tied

damn 1 minute poem
i will be victorious
wait till the next slam

a haiku for the one minute poem

so, tell me if this has ever happened to you.
you are walking down the street.
you hear some one coming up behind you saying," hey, hey you. I know you!"
you turn in the direction of the approaching voice, no recollection.
i have no poker face...at all.
"i knew it was you," she says.
still no recollection, but i smile cause she's smiling.
"we are friends."
my expression doesn't change much because i still have no fucking idea who she is and my metal rolodex is spinning to the point of dizzy.
then she says, " i recognize your hair from my space."
seems my hair is more popular than i.
well i have put lots of new trinkets in so it is quite dashing.
ya gotta love my space.

Mr. stripey gone from this world

as we find ourselves gathered
on this beautiful day in December
to say goodbye to our aquatic friend Mr. Stripey.
he was a good fish, no he was a great fish.
his living space was always clean.
he was always polite in the mornings without coffee unlike many of us.
he never called anyone names but kept a smile on his face.
we now will say goodbye to mister stripey.
i go to flush him.
a scream.
it's dark in the toilet!
how do you know i ask?
cause?
that's not an answer, have you ever been flushed in the toilet.
nooooo. many voices.
i imagine it to be liberating like the final roller coaster ride your life.
i'm scared to ride roller coasters so the toilet will be scary.
somehow i've proved her point. don't fuck with first grade logic....no...don't do it.
so they build a fishy coffin.
the dig a fishy grave.
a student presides over the grave side ceremony.
it's very cute, sweet and twisted at the same time.
we watch them pretend to cry, holding on to one another. one kid pretends to faint.
mr. stripey will be missed for about 5 minutes only remembered before the next fishy funeral.
we average about three a year.



Today!!!!!

gary's getting a bad rap.
the first and second grade have accused
gary the snail of killing mr. stripey the gold fish.
i told them snails are decomposers not killers and assured them that gary wouldn't have eaten mr. stripey's eye if he had not been dead.
morning gross out...sorry.
gary the snail's reputation has been soiled.
he may need representation before this scandal is over.
poor gary!!!

Art Amok Slam 1-2-3-4

7 Stages & ART AMOK! SLAM
present a 4-round slam
of 1, 2, 3 & 4 minute original sonnets, limericks, stories, poems
based on the Individual World Poetry Slam format!

Saturday, 12/16
sign up at 8.30, slam at 9pm
slots typically fill up fast
(max. 12 poets)
$5, free to slam
Location: 7 Stages Mainstage
Come and watch some of the Southeast's premiere voices in performance poetry
as the 2007 Art Amok Slam Team comes to life.
Or, even better, come out to Slam. $50 cash prize.
7 Stages Theatre
1105 Euclid Ave. Atlanta, GA 30307
404-523-7647 (box office)
http://www.7stages.org/

folks

so, during music class i ducked out to get some lunch
i have a looooooong day today.
i stop in at a bp to get gas and there is a man there going off on the cashier.
he is shouting at the man because the water at the store is to expensive.
he's shouting things like,"this is the same water they sell at home depot and lowes and it's cheaper there!" then he makes a comment about folks from the middle east under his breath just loud enough for me to hear it.
i have been crunchy for several weeks.
for those of you not hip to the theresanary book of internal definitions, crunchy is a state of irritation that doesn't differentiate or discriminate which means pretty much anything can flip my switch.
this comment flipped my switch. so after sizing him up I clear my throat loudly
cause he's holding up the fucking line and he says to me..excuse you,
my eyebrow shoots into my hairline. i clear my throat again and say," if you would like cheaper water sold to you buy americans then take your not so happy ass down the street to lowes, you are holding up the line. either buy the fucking water or leave and please feel free in the future not to excuse me. you need to apologize for your slur!"
"i'm not slurring my words, you trying to say i'm drunk."
"would explain the need for water, but no. i'm talking about your racial slur, which might be taken as racism. you buying the water or not cause i'd like to pay for my gas and get the hell out of here."
he bought the water and glared at me.
cheap ass. i am not offended by the prices of water, water should be free so the fact that it's not offends me.
in crunchy mode i am unaffected by idiots, assholes and dumb-shits. and a dumb-shit and an idiot have lots in common, but they are different.

The Sugar Babies

These are two of the cutie sugar babies!!!

and then there were three

so yesterday was the beginning of reality math, always marked by the births of the sugar babies.
10 students 11 sugar babies, yes one lucky student had twins. there was a 20 minutes of complaining and whining....
"i don't want a boy."
"i don't want a girl."
"i'm going to dress him like a girl anyway cause i want a girl!"
i can see the issues growing. the had a day to decorate their child.
and one of my not so creative sweeties made his baby boy a diaper. he was working so hard. when he got through he proudly displayed the finished garment modeled by his sugar baby. before i could comment,ms. shakur piped in with, " why is your baby wearing a thong? ms. theresa that right there, that's child abuse or pornography or something. he must be getting his designs from r kelly's version of baby gap. that's wrong, ms theresa!"
i had to excuse myself to the ladies room so my laughter wouldn't stifle creativity but damn that girl has a wicked sense of humor.....i'd like to think i had something to do with that......(tear on cheek pride moment).
only two took headers off the tops of desks.
one required a band-aid.
the babies are weighed after the 14 day experiment and the one closest to 5lbs wins points.
they all start with 100 points.
they can gain or lose points based on care. children left unattended for too long will be kidnapped cause shit happens and sometimes it happens to you, the ransom 75 points. i already have the ransome notes.

and it just so happens that the llama had her foal, colt, spawn what the hell are their babies called? i will look it up..... CRIA. a baby llama is called a cria. i have never heard of this..don't lie neither have you. see i told you they want my arms and now there are three of them stalking me......

Thanksgiving?

how do you have a police shoot-out with a 92 years old woman?
how do you kick down the door of a 92 year old woman at 2 am in a drug infested neighborhood looking for a dealer who doesn't have that address?
happy fucking thanksgiving..this woman lived a long time, was a law abiding citizen. her house was riddled with bullets. the police have been shooting a lot of women lately. wtf

lighter note?
so we are having thanksgiving dinner.
3 hours late cause the little popping thing didn't pop on the damn turkey.
i think the damn thing was trying to put up some kind of fight.
no sides that had to be baked were prepared.
my sister...who said to me "I'll cook the mac and cheese this year."
went to the store after it had been run through and could not secure the vital ingredient..VELVEETA.
we ate fucking Kroger brand mac and cheese. wrong, i told her she was going to thanksgiving hell, for her troubles.
it is wrong for mac and cheese to have the consistency of rice crispy treats....wrong, i say!
the kids are getting rowdy.
they are hungry and i am in a coma on the couch. yelling occasionally "no the popping thing isn't broken. no the bird is not done if the popping thing doesn't pop! no, i will not go ask the neighbor who is entertaining at least 20 people if you can put the cornbread in her oven."
did i mention the kids are getting rowdy?
to soothe the children, while the popping thing popped and the bird too large for our group was heaved out of the oven. my mother spun the ancient thanksgiving tale of the "Spider-man Food", you know...the legend of cranberry sauce! yes, she did. told them how Spidey wasn't right unless he ate this special food. that he had to make sure he got it at thanksgiving because that was the time of year that it was served in abundance. that the reason it is red, is cause it is one of Spider-man's favorite foods. " Like ketchup?" Jamal asked."Like Ketchup." my mother beamed.
you have never seen the amount of cranberry sauce consumed.
it was so wrong.
all i could think was the carpet will be colorful later thanks to Spider Man the Patron Saint of Thanksgiving.
when i left no one had thrown up, but the energy of all that cranberry sauce and the cream-cheese pound cake, pineapple upside down cake, sweet, sweet potato pie and the mounds of whipped cream was very evident.
I am so glad my son didn't hear the Spider-man tale.
this kid who routinely sleeps in a spidey costume three years too small( i tried to throw it away twice and he always busts me). but if he asks for any one of the three cranberry sauce cans that have been sitting on the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet for now on three years, I'll know that one of my sister's little spidey disciples, spilled the goods and shared the traditional story of the Cranberry Sauce!

Workin it out

Last night was a HIT!
What a great night. It went a little long but it was very nice.
I gotta work on this hosting thing.
I can be pretty clever but sometimes my clever on the spot
is just twisted at best. I feel silly practicing hosting.
I stood in the mirror last night, after a few beers, and tried to introduce people better.It would help if i had some history. Knew their work or, something.
People seemed to not notice that I sucked at it so it's all good.

It also helped me curb some of my anger. Not all of it. Last night instead of dreaming of killing the woman who grabbed at my son. I only hurt her. The important thing here is that my fantasy violence is not so scary...For now, that is. She touch my boy again and I don't know what I'll do. I just know it will be bad.

So tonight in the next phase of the Charis 32 Birthday bash there is Burlesque at Sister's. Yes, I will be there and I think I have my courage coming back so I am considering doing a burlesque act. Since the depression has set in, I have lost weight and it has redistributed itself somehow. So there are angles of me I don't recognize and if someone were only paying half attention, they could totally mistake me for fine even sexy! I shall test that theory tonight, before the alcohol sets in where then everyone is fine or sexy, or some intoxicated equivalent.

But before then I have to crash Cold Soup Dinner Theater. My mom is performing blues songs and some comedy. My mom is pretty funny except sometimes when she tries to tell a joke. I can't sing but I am going to sing a song with her tonight.
This depression thing has me so wrung out. I have this incredible loneliness even when surrounded by people and I'm doing some really great things, I am afraid that I'm missing a lot too. Because I am so in my head sometimes, pile on the pre-menopause...I'm feeling pretty fucking unstable.

This blog is all over the place..so we have been studying Greek mythology and I have re-stumbled over one of my favorite goddesses. This is who I think I would be and if I were to take a serious stage name other than my own it would be this. I think she may be my next tattoo in a smallish version.

Nemesis

is the goddess of divine justice and vengeance. Her anger is directed toward human transgression of the natural, right order of things and of the arrogance causing it. Nemesis pursues the insolent and the wicked with inflexible vengeance.

That's where I am right now. People lie and I want to smite them on the spot. There are other smite-able offenses but that's the big one in this moment. I talk to people and I feel myself scanning for lies...it's bad. not going to do that tonight. Going to let my hair down, relax, and allow myself to be the charming, sexy motherfucker, I used to be before liars invaded my space, and twisted my perceptions.
In other words..I'm going to have some fucking fun for a change!!

Sandwich Day

As an educator, I feel it is my duty to pass on information that could potentially shape the minds of the young and old. I am a font of useless information and I insist on sharing it with everyone.

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY!!!

John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, was a gambler. One night he didn’t want to leave the gaming tables even to eat, so he ordered his servants to quickly bring him some meat between slices of bread. That way, he would still have one hand free to play while he filled his stomach. He was a genius. Yes, he had a problem but where would Subway be without him.

So, in my class today we are playing cards and munching on cold cuts. I'm teaching them how to trash talk and take beating like a man, woman, or child! I start each thrashing with " do you need to make out a will, or call you next of kin or a hug? Do you need a hug?" Then i whip them in gin rummy, war, uno and any other card game we got going on!!
Why am I such a cool ass teacher..........Cause I don't know any other way to be, baby!!

beyond pissed

i am barely keeping it together
my son's teacher is a freak
and she tried to remove my son from a class
because he disagreed with her and refused to go
you send his ass to the office
you can even come tell me and i'll send his ass to the office
but you do not put you fucking hands on my child
i have not slapped the shit out of her yet but it is around the bend
i don't know what's up with this week
people testing their boundaries with me
i am not in a good place emotionally
i am not in a great place mentally
and i am tired of being pushed up on
and not pushing back
and i am tired of resisting my inner bitch
so i'm not anymore
she's been dormant too long i think
it's time i let her out to play
tread carefully
she has been released

wishes

i wish i'd never met you
never allowed the walls carefully crafted
around myself to crumble in pieces at your feet
allowed myself to care
i wish i'd never met you

the years it took to rebuild me
the effort put in to righting myself
the years now default because i met you and
i wish i never had

how easy it would be
if the reasons for the failure
were mine
i didn't share my life's work
my friends my family
how easy it would be if we'd never met the woman
who could not pronounce the letter s
as we moked and miled at the wonder
and
i still wish i'd never met you
cause sharing the part of me
that i wanted you and only you to see
from a perspective of sharing
components not to be compartmentalized
into bullshit
but that is what it was
bullshit
and you knew it all along
and while i thought i was building a friendship
i was actually tearing it down and
i wish i'd never met you

never traveled state to state
when i thought you wanted to know me
not just date
cause that's so so much deeper

i traverse the distance and measure out the time
i divide and add then subtract
it all equals to this fact
i wish i'd never met you
then my old haunts wouldn't haunt me
my memories wouldn't be in print
my hope for a friendship i valued
would might
may
could still be in tact
i long for the day that you glared at me
i retreated
but dejected girl scout that i am
when the chance came to meet you again......
i wish i'd never met you
if we had never met
because maybe
maybe
you would have actually
gotten to meet
me
but instead
i met you

relocation - reconnection

well, it seems cliterati will have a new home
and as i embrace new ways to change
i believe it is a good thing
cleanse our lenses
new perspectives
these women are amazing
and the fact that they allow me to hang out with them
the cherry on top
**********************************************
in another type of relocation
i have endured some shit
a lot of shit over the years
some roses have grown from some of the shit
other heaps just stink to high heaven
i've learned that the old way i used to think
may not work in the current climate
i meet a lot of people and the majority of them are genuine
but the ones i meet and
i give them genuine up front points
are fucking nuts
it's ok
i'm getting a slightly better gauge on things these days
i have to keep my own rules clearer
not stray from the plan
under 30 .... bad
except in the case of someone who has to remain nameless
funny been running from that one for more than a minute
and honestly believe i'd have been
happier if i had stopped running
as i keep running into this one again and again
and almost always on the tail of something
really fucked happening to me or around me
the original folks i hung out with in the beginning of this ride
were the most fucking honest
i have learned that i cannot tolerate dishonesty
the knee jerk reaction to smack wells up
and if i'm not quick
my hand or tongue starts flying
and the
i gives not a shit
attitude i've worked really hard to reshape
comes back with a vengeance
so i know where my base is
and i will be recommitting myself to them

Black Girl Games

Growing up many a report card espoused on my academic prowess
Things like excellent reading skills
But seems board with the genres
Stellar speller, vocabulary years above her level
She does math differently but it comes out right
A gifted student
A talented child
Mature beyond her peers
But one comment loomed
Over me like storm clouds
Canceling recess
She doesn’t play well with others
Doesn’t interact with her female peers
She’s a bit of a tomboy
Not that everyday I didn’t play Hopscotch and Double Dutch
Till I could leap or jump to any rhythm
And throw stones with the accuracy of a politician
I played with the other little black girls
I just could never master black girl games
The under world of the play ground kingdoms

And I’m sure white girls have games
I imagine hair pulling and lots of scratching
But black girl games
Involve the taking of thing just because they can
I used to watch my cousins play the black girl game with their girlfriends
It fascinated me
My cousin would be all like
“He’s so fine; I’m going to make him mine”
Her friend, “please, he ain’t shit”
Next thing you know
Friend has absconded with the shit
And they never see it coming
Never watching the subtle signs
That blinked behind lying eyes
Those not hip to the black girl game open their mouths
And watch their dreams snatched by braded birds of prey
Repeatedly
Fascinating
Like watching an urban animal planet
Taking and twisting
Not cause they want it
Need it to survive
No just because you utter the words of want
And they don’t want you to have it
Boys
Not so much
The whole concept of the game was lost on them
Sometime I’d find myself
Impersonating Dear Abby
Boys would be like
You know Jimmy likes Sharon
I kind of like Sharon too
I’d say do you like having Jimmy as your friend
If you do don’t fuck with Sharon
They got it
I never had to witness classic fucking over with the boys
So I never developed the taste for black girl games
I have gotten sucked into a few
And clearly didn’t know the rules
I broke a few black girl noses
Chipped a few teeth
broke an arm, she jus tripped or something
tried to drown one in a toilet
the police stopped me right before they arrested me
Received and inflicted scars
That require stitches
Fucked up some minds so thoroughly
That the guilt will follow me to my next life
Pugilist with passion can’t play those types of games
So I’ve learned to walk away
Keeping my karma and integrity intact
Prison time and lawsuits at bay
Re educate my self on the signs
Then, go hang out with the boys

Cliterati Octoberfest

Cliterati Octoberfest
~Cliterati will be on the 3rd and 4th Thursdays
This month!!

Cliterati becomes 6 years old in October! To celebrate, we're accomodating 3 very special features Oct. 19th & Oct. 26th
doors at 8pm, open mic at 8.30 $5 donation for the features
Please welcome to The Tower II. 735 Ralph Mcgill Blvd

OCTOBER 19th
SONYA RENEE
Sonya Renee

is a National Poetry Slam Champ, Individual World Poetry Slam Finalist

Activist, Teacher, Mom "Sonya Renee speaks for people on the margins and she does it by her own damn bootstraps. I admire her smarts, her sass, her lungpower and her willpower......young poets should be steered in her direction, and you yourself should sit right down for a hot minute. Watch this woman. Listen to this person. Sonya Renee will win you over!"~Rives, National Poetry Slam Champion, HBO Def Poetry Jam Tour

"Sonya Renee is the REAL DEAL. RAW, ORIGINAL, SENSITIVE. So many of her poems tell my story and maybe yours too. SHE'S SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!"
~Gayle Danley, National Poet & Educator, 1994 National Individual Poetry Slam Champion, 2006 Young Audiences Artist of the Year

"She's a force of Nature on stage, often funny, and even when she's raging against injustice, there's always a wink in the corner of her eye.."
~Charles Ellik, Host and Curator of Berkeley Slam Norcal Poetry Organizer

AND
October 26th
The Coming Of Age Tour

The Coming of Age Tour, starring JT Bullock and Andi Cauth Oct. 26th Rolls into Cliterati! JT BULLOCK is a New Orleans native living in Birmingham, Alabama since 1998. His poetry runs the gauntlet from personal confessions to political protests. In his work as a spoken word artist, he experiments with the rhythmic styles of hip-hop, the brutal honesty of satirical comedy, and streams of consciousness found in surrealistic monologues. He is the author of one chapbook called Uncommon Days in Blues of Gray and a CD entitled I Can Sue Reality. In 2000, he joined the Birmingham Slam Team as an alternate at the Southern Fried Regionals in Americus, Georgia and has been rocking the mic ever since! Two years after his first competition, he came back to Southern Fried in Memphis as a member of Team Montevallo and scored a major victory as the ..1 team in the southeast. ANDI KAUTH began her career in Slam in 2004, when she was mentored by the creator of Slam himself, Marc Smith. Since then, she has gone on to become Slam Master of the Palatine Poetry Slam, Coach of the 2005 Palatine National Poetry Slam team, and a member of the 2006 Palatine NPS team. She mentors kids in the art of spoken word, and has also been invited into high school freshman English classes to help introduce writing and performance. She has been published twice in the Celebration of Young Poets poetry anthology and featured in The Viking Logue and The Daily Herald.


Related wordy events (click for samples & links):


Art Amok! will have an art party and poetry slam at 7 Stages Theatre in Little Five Points on October 21st, 9.30, Sonya Renee will have an encore feature performance.$5 or free to slam. The theme of the evening will be Artists, Angles and Madness to coincide with the 7 Stages production of Vincent & I.(Slam poems do not have to be on theme).See why Creative Loafing picked Art Amok as "Best Spoken Word" in Atlanta.

Charis Books & More, conveniently located in Little 5 Points hosts open poetry readings with fabulous author features on the first Friday of every month.

Java Monkey on Church Street, Decatur will kick off their slam poetry season Oct.8th at 8~get there early for your seat!
Visit sister sites www.artamok.org , www.7stages.org

Got more? E-mail cliterati@gmail.com. Thank you for supporting the Arts in the ATL!
http://www.cliterationline.com/

the pic things not working arrrrr!
i will figure it out.

Breathe

I keep forgetting to do that
breathe
it helps to do that every once in a while

last night was great
i was featured at a literary circle with jessica care moore as one of the young gifted and black poetic women of atlanta.
young.....that is some funny shit.
i'm not ancient..yet.....
the women have had very little exposure to performance poetry and had never heard of slam
they were very sweet and promised to come to a slam in the future
it was a nice night....i felt so young ...giggles....

i am on an emotional rollercoaster
it is soooooooooooo not fun
in a constant state of cloudy
i have to snap myself out of this
the grind begins wednesday and i am so excited
poetry and parties 2 parties 3 shows
if i don't have some fun
something is really wrong with me
i am also trying to arrange a second date
why is this scary to me now?

oh...i know why halloween is coming....
or it could be that i am a ginormous chicken shit
or it could be that i was hurt more than i realized
blindsided i think is more accurate
and the prospect of being hurt again scares me
but if i don't do something soon
i'll be stuck to wallowing in this hurt
time to do something
i need my mind back in full force
i don't like the wafting about
breathe

so i get a call
i make up an excuse
and now i'm thinking an opportunity missed
cause i'm a chicken shit
and sitting home alone feeling lonely
is so much fucking fun
so tired of feeling like this
going to go prune my feathers
for i am a CHICKEN SHIT

spin cycle

i'm feeling like myself and somebody else at the same time
like the washing machine that runs great until the spin cycle
then it gets unbalanced
makes wicked noises
shakes and sputter
yep
just like that
only harder to explain
without the button that points out my spin cycle

last night at Charis was great
and someone was trying to be there
so glad for the no show
not feeling very respectful right now
would have been a use/lose situation
the goddess knows how crazed i am right now
so feeling quite unattractive
i went the the local dive fun as shit bar in east atlanta
nothing makes you feel better
than being used as a pole for an unscripted pole dance
where the dancer is quite fucked up
there was a dip backwards and then a flip
thank god for the couch
she flipped over it
skirt flitting slightly over her head
she bobbed to her feet
and bounced backwards sitting
perfectly on the couch
well, except for the fact that her skirt was
still kind of up around her arm pits
so, driving isn't the only thing you shouldn't do drunk
i tried to catch her
but the idea of being skewed by three inch heels
didn't appeal to me in that moment
besides the couch aerobics probably sobered her up a taste
all though once she composed her self
she righted her skirt and bought another drink
i'm too old for the club scene
but it never ceases to amuse me

She's an Idiot!

did you know that if you read Harry Potter you are being indoctrinated into a religion whose practices are evil?
see and here i thought you were just reading a fucking book.
see now that i know that that's all it takes to be indoctrinated into anything
i think i'll read a book on treating medical maladies
so that i can be indoctrinated into the medical profession
i don't have to just play a doctor on TV
i can be one cause i read a fucking book...
ooooo, i could read a book on psychology..
be indoctrinated into that profession
and figure our why my ex is a nut
and it'll be true
all my diagnoses because i read a fucking book
that gave me the power to know all....
wait to be indoctrinated into a practice that practices......
it sounds so logical
reading is is way more fundamental than i thought it was...
i could read a book about space and
be indoctrinated into NASA fly the fucking space shuttle
cause you know, i read a book...
oooooo
i read the entire constitution once
does that mean that i've been indoctrinated into a political system that practices the random fucking over of a people
and could i then run for president...cause i read it
it's not a book but i'm sure its in a book
and we all know that all it takes is to read something and you could be indoctrinated

laura mallory has way to much fucking time on her hands
she wants to remove the Harry Potter books from the school libraries
i think maybe a better idea is that she remove them from her library and stop being stupid in public
she doesn't want macbeth, a mid summers night dream, or the wizard of oz removed
fucking hypocrite
she hasn't even read the fucking books
how can you have an informed opinion
if you youself is uninformed
thank goddess she's not a teacher
let's hurry up and close those minds kiddies
we would hate to have to be free thinkers
you can't ban some without banning them all
stupidity and closed mindedness really get my goat
baaaaah

Saul, Indigo Girls and Me!!!

The World Can't Wait - Drive Out the Bush Regime
October 5th A Day of Nationwide Mass Resistance

Join Atlanta on October 5th along with 175+ places in the country
www.worldcantwait.org
Atlanta contact:

Email: Atlanta@worldcantwait.org 866-370-5404
******************************************************
Plans in Atlanta: THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5

Woodruff Park in downtown Atlanta, Peachtree St. and Edgewood ( 1 block north of 5 points MARTA station)
12:00pm Ride of Resistance to Drive Out the Bush Regime.
Meet up at Woodruff Park, the ride starts at 12:30. A critical mass style bike ride of resistance to Drive Out the Bush Regime through the streets of Atlanta. Ride returns back to Woodruff Park by 2:00pm.

2:00 p.m. Meet up in Woodruff Park.
2:30 p.m. we will have a spirited march thru downtown Atlanta.
4:00 p.m. we will return to Woodruff Park for a rally, speakers, poets, music.
5:30 p.m. we will stretch out along Peachtree Street.

******************************************************
At the Rally:

**SAUL WILLIAMS**
Writer, actor and poet that has served as the archetype for a new generation of poets and spoken word artists. He has performed, toured and lectured across the world. www.saulwilliams.com

Statement from the Indigo Girls

Patrick Bray-Iraq Veterans Against the War

Theresa Davis- Georgia poet (THAT'S ME!)

Godchild- Hip-Hop

Patricia Roberts-mother of 1st Georgia Soldier to die in Iraq

Denise Thomas-*Co-Founder Georgia Military Families Speak Out

Dr. Kenneth L. Samuel- Pastor of Victory Baptist Church

Lillie Mae Stokes-Katrina survivor

DJ Tonic

Solongo Productions Inc.- inspirational music for the soul from New Orleans

And others.

*identification purposes only

Bring your school, congregation, co-workers, friends, relatives, signs, banners, costumes, drums, whistles, creativity, outrage, and a determined spirit that won't stop. There is a place for everyone in this movement. Together let's make October 5th the way and the day to Drive Out the Bush Regime. Think Big, the future is counting on us.

Happy dance

I am on a program with SAUL WILLIAMS!!!
I am so freakin' happy!!!!!!!!
Is is a sign???

i'm ready

last night was great!
i love Cleo and heard poetry i'd never heard of his.
i was sorry i had to leave early. the performance at the eye drum was awesome!
i got my first encore, so they got rock star poet.
the line " i want back ground singers, who put out but don't sing, cause this is poetry"
elicited cat calls of "i'll put out"
and yes i lost my shit for a minute
giggling fit had to regroup.
very receptive and friendly audience.
lot's of fun.
my new piece rewind.
what can i say i love it, and with the rewrites the feeling i wanted to express comes through more clearly than before. it's not about anger, but more about the idea of being stuck in your past. the difficulty in watching someone you care about, with so much to offer, not seeing what you see. whether afraid or unsure.
the feedback was incredible and i left a few friends in tears and a few who related.
lots of full body hugs that you feel in your toes.
it's great when you feel like someone gets it.
suffices to say when i giggled during rock star the entire audience laughing with me and shouting "rewind!"

i think myself is kicking back in.
finally, she was starting to get on my fucking nerves.
i'm ready to make this thing work for me.
any who want to share are welcome.
but be sure that you believe what you see.
believe what you hear.
that i love my friends with the thickness of molasses.
i finished my cd, and will be recording the new piece this weekend!
some excitingly, sad, interesting, confusing, and soul searching days are ahead...hope to see you there.

i didn't order that

How much SHIT.....?
Things I need to stop doing....

i need to stop pretending to listen to assholes. it only encourages them and we have all seen little assholes that become bigger.

i need to stop resisting the urge to slap people. Some people need to be slapped, repeatedly..as in over and over and over again.

i need to stop letting shit go cause some people are clueless to the fact that the bitch me is still in town. she's trying to fucking evolve and folks are pushing their fucking luck!

i need to remember i'm too pretty to go to jail.

let those who don't value me rot in a special place in hell.

i need to learn how to express my anger, stop being so repressed and shy.

yup...i need a drink!
and someone to help me work out some aggressions!

I was almost WONDER WOMAN!!!

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 70% Wonder Woman 65% Superman 60% Spider-Man 60% Supergirl 55% Robin 55% Green Lantern 55% The Flash 50% Hulk 35% Catwoman 35% Batman 25%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

questions

I guess this is how it's done you get out what you've been thinking and not saying........ I've answered a lot of questions over the last week, I've asked myself a lot. The answers rarely fit or make sense. These are the questions that i have only been able to answer with more questions. I fucking hate that.

what does it mean
to be in that moment
where a minute seem too long
the seconds drag out
ecstasy becomes agony
questions burn
like bridges
memory fades
gone forever
can't hold on to the thoughts that
think there way in
out stretched along time lines that lie
beyond your reach yet you still try to grab
to hold on
hold yourself together
what does it mean?

maybe the meaning is lost
or was never there
a cosmic joke
meant to send you into tailspins of relief and sorrow
helping to hold
to heal
having what's left disregarded
a backwards glance
a second thought
the final straw

what does it mean
to be rightand wrong at the same time
to be banished where colors don't mix
regardless of the way they compliment
to begin something so fragile
it could break
under subtle pressures
never implied
or applied
will yourself to have the strength
build what is broken

what does it mean
to do all you know
and have it not matter
no matter what you do
loathing by loving
crushing with every caress
killing with kisses
you hurt without having the power to heal
and yet
you do........
questions in the back of my mind
but what do they mean???

my kingdom for a minute to myself
1906 performance tonight at Eyedrum
Then the drag show!!!!!!!
see you there

learning curves

so yesterday was international talk like a pirate day
and my class young pirates in training
and went pillaging and plundering
big fun
we ended by going to support our favorite pirate
Captain Jack Sparrow
and i learned something new
we arrived to the movie early cause they wanted to spend booty at the arcade
i sat in the lobby and watched several people arrive in different cars
longish hugs
light snacks
all in all about 10 couples

so
we thought that we were the only ones in the theater
we were not
pirate's is a pretty fucking loud movie
but there are quiet times
where the soundsof oh baby sex in the movie theater was very pronounced
the panting and sighing
and other audible squishy sounds were almost funny
we started being obnoxiously loud talking back to the screen
with me interjecting
loudly
"are you guys having a fun field trip! middle schoolers are in the house!!"
so on and so on
pirates is three hours long
that's a lot of theater fucking
sowhat have we learned today students

that when you get older and you want to have an affair you should meet your lover in the movie theater and please watch for marauding middle schoolers

class dismissed

single again
not doing this anymore
don't like the way they end
don't like the way i end up feeling
i don't like any of it
you would think i'd learn
hopefully this time i have

another one bites the dust

Th LL Word a twisted tale

They watch me
Trying to anticipate my every move
Searching they seek me out
I keep a watchful eye
Watching them
As they watch me
Gracefully they saunter
Statuesque and regal
So lofty in their expression
They seem to know everything
In all their beauty they seem to be missing something
Their incessant stares look right through me
An almost jealous twinge in their eyes
I pretend not to notice their probing
Try to avoid direct eye contact
Their eyes so deep might capture me reveal a weakness they blink lush lashes
Quickly moving out of the frame of my classroom window
They make no sounds
But their miasmic stare
Keep me alert
I fear they want something from me
Something I am not willing to give
My concern and confusion
Leads me to a shaman woman who may be able to give me a clue
Unlock the mysteries of what they seek
and why they want it from me
She reads my feelings
Peers at my palms
Touches my aura
Nods
Takes a deep breath and begins to spin her tale
Long Ago
She begins her voice rising like smoke through the rafters
Long Ago
They were the chosen
They possessed beauty beyond compare
Their voices light and beautiful
notes on the breeze
They were among the gods favorites
invited to every event every affair
The chosen became bored with the constant praises from the gods
the prankster in them was awakened
They took to playing tricks on the gods
Moving scepters
adjusting constellations
The gods knew it was them their light laughter floating in the ethers
Then one day the chosen decided to steal the gods fire
They were caught when they awakened the gods with their laughter
So the gods punished them by taking away their voices
This however made them more stealthy they attempted to steal the fire again
In their haste they dropped the flames
In the river of dreams
And the gods became enraged
This time the punishment would be more severe
The gods took away their beautiful manes
Of dreadlocks adorned with jewels that shined
Replacing it with matted fur that covered their once beautiful bodies
Then the gods elongated their necks so they could only glimpse
the fires they’d never take again
Then to make sure that the fires were safe
the gods took away their arms
So when they look at you
my dear
Your shining locks they remember their fall from grace
And they do want something from you
Two thing in fact

She leans in and whispers
sending a shiver down my spine

The llamas
Watch you because they remember
And they want your arms
Never turn your back on them
and I won’t

therapy

i'm in a strange head these days
fogged over with doubt and neglect
i'm not taking care
and no ones taking care of me
feeling lack luster
and transparent
i don't think i'm happy
not really
not depressed per say
but who knows i could be
feeling out of sorts and out of control
people i thought i knew
forcing me to edit them in my life
not out of my life but in a different place
far away from me
very cool things are happening in some places
but in other places there's a pulling away
that i can't control
wanting to hear i love you
from those who have a choice in the matter
wanting to utter the words myself
holding my tongue for fear the phrase can't or won't be returned
my life has too many
tugs and pulls in different directions
and i like it for the most part
keeps me on my toes
besides
i've never been selfish
i'm the sleep deprived one who will do whatever, whenever
but i find my self wanting to be selfish
but resisting the urge to do it
it's not me
but i don't feel much like me lately
so maybe it's ok
feeling wounded and dazed
like the big hurt is waiting on the edges
tired and can't sleep
thoughtful
but i can't think
or maybe i can and i'm just not paying attention
and not making much sense
whew....free therapy rocks!

WTF

An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus' miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon's capital of Libreville. "He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus," an eyewitness told the Glasgow Daily Record. "He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back." The New Testament records the story of Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee as he approached his disciples in a boat. "And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea." (Matthew 14:25) As WND reported in April, a researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus' miraculous walk on the surface of water – ice.

DUH????!!!! No Ice off the western coast of AFRICA ....It's the tropics you know?

Wild Man Missed

steve irwin is dead and it makes me sad
the world is running out of charactersnot the kinds that make you cringe because their are being extradited from thailand for being a fucking scary human being
but the fun kindi missed an op to meet him or at least see him in person
but tomorrow my students and i will veg out learning about the animals in the world we will watch crocodile hunter the movie
as the very pissy llamas glare at me through my classroom window
i find myself wondering what steve might suggest
one of those fuckers tried to spit on me today
i'm sure he wouldn't have taunted them like i did
teasing them for not having arms
no doubt whatever advice would have been educational and fun

his personality reminds me of me a little bit mostly because

my students portrayed me as a crazy crocodile hunter type teacher several years ago
their point was how can a person be that excited about what they do all the time
i feel the need to hug an animalthe llamas are out cause they want my fucking arms
so a middle schooler will have to do

Poetry Slam - Art Amok - Atlanta

Here is my performance at nationals. the voice is rough!