Monday, March 28, 2016

Slumlord Cheap as Hell

I guess one should really never ask how much worse can it get? Because it can get a hell of a lot worse.

Where to start.

Well, about 3 years ago I moved in my my bestie KG. I need to move fast and when her then roommate, a mutual friend, moved away to be with her lady love I no longer had to think of living in my car. I signed a lease with the landlord and it was a done deal. I was moving around a lot so KG took care of most of the house stuff because I was on the road. Also because dude would say the most borderline sexist bullshyt to me, licking his lips and wearing his Kangol hat and gold chains. Creepy. He once said to my son, "You not as pretty as your Momma." My son's response, "Mom, that old man just tried my whole life."

When I started traveling less, I would contact the guy about things that need to be done. The first major thing was the mysterious case of the wobbling toilet.

I called, stated the problem and over the phone he diagnosed that the toilet was not in fact broken. I tell him that the ring that holds the toilet in place appears to be warped and the toilet runs and the handle part needs to be replaced. He said, still on the phone, that it was not warped, that's not how it works and there was nothing wrong with the handle I just need to jiggle it. I jiggled it for a month, meanwhile our water bill triples. I call again ask him to send a plumber over and he decided he will come over to look at it. He decides that I must have done something for it to wobble and does a duct tape type job on the handle. Our water bill climbs even higher. Then the sink faucet has a problem, and my roommate calls and in a day or two the plumber comes to fix the faucet, I ask him if he would look at the toilet. He says the ring is warped and the toilet is ancient and should be replaced. I ask if he will tell the guy. He calls and the guy says he can replace the handle.

A month later the handle is not working and the wobbling is worse and there is a problem with my roommates bathroom as well. She calls him and then calls a plumber. The guy shows up and again replacement is suggested and he says he'll get his guy to do it. Weeks later the guy and his plumber replace the toilet. "Y'all better take care of this, I'm not replacing it again."

Wait. What?
Fucker this is your house. You are keeping your house up! You are not doing this shyt for me. Pun intended.

Oh, and yes it gets worse.