Monday, November 12, 2007

wtf

what do you do when someone you've cared about suddenly tells you they resent you but not in a negative way?

what the hell does that mean?

to me resentment is like one step away from hate. how do you not take that negatively? i really must listen for the disdain. and now i'm questioning everything. not in that i can't function way but in the way of what a great liar this person was not only to me but to themselves. how strong they must be to hate me and be with me at the same time? it bloggles my mind!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Monday, October 22, 2007

can o whup ass

so last night i went to java monkey.
always good for some solid words some not so solid and lately there are some eclectic types mmm maybe more like special people..so special. one is this drag kinda queen who wears this matted white wig, it's never straight and he scratches his head obsessively and like he may have brought little hopping friends with him. he always sits next to the people who won't say anything to him directly...last night he sat right up front. kodac was in a nostalgic mood, understandably as the atlanta arts community has lost one of its beloved and amazing poet and activist. ronnog seaberg was the co-founder of seaberg acrobatic poetry.

this couple would pose themselves in acrobatic poses while steve(her husband played the sax, most of the time) and she would if upside down or balanced in the air would red poems from little books. they would sometimes do this nude as well.
kodac dedicated the night to her, then did a poem she said was one of her favorites by him. he's reading and drag queen is just a giggling and laughing out loud. mind you draggy as i like to call her is sitting one seat away from ronnog's husband. kodac snapped, "we appreciate all kinds her at java and we don't stop you from expressing yourself. but if you (points at draggy) laugh again at anything in reference to her, i'm gonna kick your ass!"....all i could think was well done, then wow...so many witnesses. he apologized later but i understand that moment when a switch is flipped.
bryan from neo soul austin just happened to be there for the feisty side of kodac. i think he had a blast.

Cliterati Thursday Night


Monday, October 15, 2007

rockstar

So I don't get many perks in my classroom but here's a little something I do everyday to keep the fabulousness moving. My students have to have their homework signed by me and their parents everyday so i dress up!




Tuesday, October 02, 2007

hindsight is a bitch

so i'm driving along running late for work. not rushing cause late is late there are no degrees so once the state of lateness has been reached no matter how soon after that you arrive you are still late. i knew my students first class today was dance. driving along listening to a book on tape. very aware of my fellow georgians who apparently got their licenses off the back of cereal boxes or dug from the bottom of a box of cracker jacks. i saw her. she turned around twice completely looking in the back seat. i said zion brace yourself, she's going to hit us. traffic ahead slows i slow and she slams into me with a force that scare the shit out of my son. i think i may be a little jammed up from bracing myself for the impact.

saturn's are the best cars on the planet. she hit ne so hard the impact crumpled her front end and she probably has a couple thousand dollars worth of damage. i have three scratches in my bumper.
bad drivers suck!
saturn's rock!!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

stargazing in kentucky

clear kentucky skies inspire




the sky here invites me to dance
on my back staring into the face
of the moon and she looks familiar
her aura spelled us in the stars
her blackness so engulfing
excitement fills me
at the thought of such a heavenly demise
she seems so close
a million miles away
on earth as she is in the heavens
i raise my arms to play in her hair
if i think hard enough she'll
feel me nudge her heart
light years from now
she'll feel my hands on her skin
her falling stars a hello
she winks
her sky so black i can see the future
i imagine where ever she is
she lies on her back
looking into a sky so black
she sees my face

Monday, September 17, 2007

Chocolate Day

The big day!!
Chocolate day observed!
We dipped everything and out of all the madness only two items sparked my gag reflex.
first...the fountain



then the items....





more..







so here is what we learned. while chocolate is a goddess it does not enhance the flavor of everything.

for instance, spam and chocolate should never come into contact with each other. this one sparked my gag reflex.

sardines - the mustard flavored sardines kinda balanced the chocolate not delicious but not terrible.

slim Jim's - DELICIOUS dipped in chocolate

olives- a nice salty sweet mix

dill pickles - an amazing reaction happened when we mixed pickles and chocolate. at first it's the sweet salty mix and then it gets spicy like add pepper spicy...strange, when we make our own pickles for pickle day we will investigate this phenomenon more.
string cheese - yes, no...never cause damn i thought i was going to puke on everyone.

Finally we have concluded that I am indeed the most incredible, most awesome, most fun teacher in the universe and even chocolate couldn't make me better.

Next Pirate Day!!!



Tuesday, September 11, 2007

ask and ye shall get it


i think she's stalking me
she's been dogging my trail all day
what!!! i say to her
" i can't help but notice the chocolate milk in your fridge
i love chocolate milk and i heard you say you didn't like chocolate milk...can i have that chocolate milk."

"i didn't say i don't like chocolate milk, i said i don't like yo-ho."
"it's the same thing."
"it's actually not. you can have it though."
one sip on the change of the face face.
"this is nasty."
"i told you that."
" it doesn't even taste like milk."
"it's not milk. i like chocolate milk."
"you said you didn't like this though."
"i can't talk to you. you don't speak english."
"you said you don't like milk and i could have it."
"read the label."
"chocolate drink? what does that mean?"
"it means not milk."
"i don't like it."
"sounds like a personal problem, because you bugged me for it, you begged me for it so you will consume it. cheers!"
pouting, "this is bootleg. chocolate drink."

Thursday, September 06, 2007

juxtaposition

this constant movement
shifting spaces
retracing paths carved in the dark
everything has changed
including my mind
i thought this time would be different
i was wrong as usual
picking myself up from
a foundation that cracked in the settling
a fault line that broke something in me
something i thought was stable
i break under the strain
of unknown expectations
keeping afloat by sheer will
my motivation dwindles
and dawns
in this darkness that
shades my thoughts
and hardens a heart once
so malleable it could fold into anyone
i'm afraid now
a fear that grips me
leaves a smile on my lips and a feeling of emptiness
that seems like it could
go on forever
it makes me think i'm sick
fevers that come from nowhere
dry heaves that bring up nothing
but this overwhelming emptiness
i constantly try to fill with other things
to no avail
it seems again i've chosen a path
not suited for me
wrapped my faith in the unfaithful
tossed my tongue at the feet of one
who knows me but pretends not to
tramples my words
and in all this change i end up in my past
knocking on doors that refused to open
the first time
attempting to fling open soulful windows
nailed down like they were
the last time
a glimmer is all it would take to dispel the darkness
a glimmer
unseen by eyes that refuse to open for fear of what she'll find
shifting spaces
where my matter won't fit
changing to remain the same
locked in my head
locked out of my heart
constantly moving
going nowhere
fast

September 13th

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Answer to a question asked by Evan on My Space

when i fell in love with poetry a question from copa

i have always loved words. they were a way to express my views my wants my needs. i abandoned them when it was clear i was expected to be like my parents. i went from writing everyday to not picking up a pen and acknowledging words that struggled to escape for years. the process added weight mentally and physically. i didn't know i was depressed that i was lacking something that resembled a sense of myself. the almost 300lbs should have been an indicator or the fact that i worked my job beyond expectations dotted on my children to the point of spoilage then retreated to dark spaces waking myself in the middle of the night dissolved in tears. the week before a massive stroke ripped my fathers brain in two and took him away i had a conversation with my father. the last real one.

he went off, told me how i was wasting my life, denying who i was, and not utilizing my talents. he accused me of being afraid of my own power and success. he told me my marriage wasn't right, i wasn't who i thought i was but i am who i know i am. society cannot dictate who you are to be and who you want to love unless you allow it. you are not happy and this man will not be there when you need him but you need to be there. you fight for the benefit of others when the fuck are you going to start fighting for yourself. stop disappearing he said because i see you.

the conversation left me empty and confused.

a week later my mother, sister and i take all the grand kids to a puppet show. we leave and mom suggest we go to her house. i said she should check with jikki, his mood had been off, when he didn't answer the phone we went our separate ways. 20 minutes later i get the call my mom walked in the house to his body broken and him semi conscious. at the hospital he on the gurney...he wasn't there he had disappeared the body there was empty. i called my husband, he was away at a meeting i explained that my father had a massive stroke and a decision had to be made by me. the kids didn't know please come home. he told me there was really nothing he could do he'd be home in a few days.

his response did two things

1st it echoed a reflection of my dad's final comment about him not being there when i needed him

2nd i could see me returning to my own body.

i made the decision to take him off life support my mother and siblings by my side. they gave this wonderful man a 13% chance of even being conscious he would never be him again and the percentages were dwindling every hour.

weeks later missing him like a tooth. i had lost over 150 lbs and given notice to my wasben that i was leaving with my children. i went through his closet finding the leather cowboy style jacket i'd bought him for his birthday and several shirts i liked. i took them. wearing one of the jackets one day the scent of him still there i plunged my hand in a pocket and found a strip of paper. it had been washed all i could read was "i love you straightforwardly". i googled it. this is what came up.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. Pablo Neruda



i took it as a sign. i knew this kind of love. i picked up a pen and i have been writing again ever since. i never stopped loving my art, i think i just lost myself and had to lose something more to find me again. rediscovery is a terrible beautiful thing. losing to gain a fucked up concept. but life goes on whether or not you chose to participate. on march 24th 2003 i lost a precious part of me and made the decision to be an active participant in my own life. and i know he's watching me like t.v.






buffalo soldier

dread lock rasta

my dad.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

sweet sentiment

Ms. Theresa,

I don't think that I said thank you in the correct way. I will never forget the way you taught and nurtured our daughter while she was a middle school student at Horizons. What was most impressive was the way you encouraged Rachel and other students to analyze and enjoy the written and spoken word. I recall the year that all of your students rebelled during the middle school commencement ceremony. Rachel was going to the 7th grade. She said...oh mom, I do not want to go back to Theresa's class. I told her that she had not yet proven to me that she could be responsible and that she needed to prove to her instructors that she was indeed responsible. At the end of her year in 7th grade, she told me that we had made the right decision. During her year as an 8th grade high school student at Horizons, she referred to you and your "teaching tactics" and remarked about how she missed them. Despite all that you have to deal with...your children, your art, your issues and your public....you still find time and space to" love and nurture other peoples children". It is teachers like you who make the Horizons School a very special place. Thank you for being one of the teachers that Rachel will never forget. We are a Horizons School alumni family. Therefore, you will see us again and very soon. I am suppose to be part of the 30th Anniversary celebration committee. Please keep in touch and keep me informed about your poetry...( I have been writing a lot) and your children. "Again, thank you the way my momma taught me how to say thank you."


Peace and Blessings,


Jea Delsarte

Thursday, August 02, 2007

when one door closes....


you should run up to it real fast and deadbolt the shit out of it!

hindsight is a bitch

Saturday, July 28, 2007

the party's over

yeah i don't know who's crazier me or her. probably me. i keep getting caught up in trying to fix or save folks. and when i make a fucking rule i should know better than to break it. i do this sick thing where i kinda make a notation when i start getting to know someone intimately. it's kinda twisted and probably acts more as a catalyst for everything that happens afterwards. me fucking around with the power of the written word, i should know better. so after the first couple days of bed games and of hearing about my ex this and my ex that i wrote; three months top, she'll bounce back to her ex, and i'll be lucky if i get through it not hating her by september. if i don't hate her by then we might be able to be friends. that last parts not looking too good.

as i can only focus on one thing at a time my attention was dominated in this fix a chick effort. it boggles my mind. i meet these really attractive, beautiful, talented people, who tell horror stories of how they got fucked over. Some of them really fucked over, abandonment, mental abuse, all kinds of crazy shit. then comes me attentive, accommodating (too much), and they get nostalgic it seems for someone to treat them like shit. i can't treat people i care for like shit. then the horrible ex stories become, well i could have done...or we both did our... and i'm like maybe you should go back and their like no i really care about you and that's not where i need to be....bullshit? my dar seems to be stuck on attracting crazy or like i said maybe i'm the crazy one.

those days are over (she says somewhat confidently, knowing the next beautiful, smart, funny, talented one that comes along will again consume her thoughts, as she is a hopeless romantic in denial). i have made a decision (i think i have at any rate) to be adhd poet for the next two week and let my attentions wonder all over the fucking place. being naked in the hot tub last night helped clear out a lot of shit. the pretty girl from out of town in the hot tub helped as well and added to the clarity. just the change of being around some one who really doesn't want anything from you, instead of the one who claims not to want anything all the time demanding shit they claim they don't want from you. yep, i am definitely the crazy one.

i am so ready to get out of town i can't even begin to tell you. any poets wanting to assist me in the getting into fun trouble in austin, bring it!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

the clot

so lot's of things have been happening and i still feel a little bit crazed.
i had a run of very good shows, getting to know my new sweetie, managing not to totally wipe myself out with all the activity.

when i finished hosting the dixie pistols show, i thought i had a charlie horse. a week later the cramp was still there and moving up my leg. Saturday morning when i got up standing was slightly owie. i went to the emergency room. there the doctor convinced me that it was probably a blood clot that would eventually travel to my lungs or brain and possibly kill me......yeah, color me scared shitless.
when they drew my blood it moved so slowly that in my head the clot was definitely there or my blood would move more freely. begin the freak out. they prescribe me medication that i have to self inject...more freaking, i don't do needles. i have popped a nurse or two for trying to give me shots in the past. i had a crying fit in the parking lot because i was sure i would not be able to do this and as a result would be dead by Sunday. my friend was out of town and i really wanted to hear a kind voice. when we talked she was short with me and and seemed busy so i figured let's not bother her about my pending death.

when i got home i couldn't do the injection. i started calling friends and my mom. thankfully some friends stopped by, my mom ran out of the room during the injection squealing "ewww needles" yes very comforting. i felt disoriented almost immediately. later realizing that confusion and other mental shit are side effects. make the crazy crazier. the banter as retold to me involved my dying and how embarrassed i would be if i died in front of people. there were phone calls. i am not sure how many people think i'm more crazy than my usual. i do know i pissed off my friend. and the fucked up thing is no matter what i say it will sound like an excuse.

yesterday i had to stick myself three times before i could get the final dose before my deep ultrasound to detect the alleged clot. still emotional right after that i get a call from my friend and snap, why, not sure but she is pissed. so pissed..not pretty. when she confronts me face to face, i have no words anything i say will be an excuse and possibly piteous. no winning. as close as i can come to it is she didn't care that i thought i could be dying even though she didn't know i thought i could be dying...confusion thy name is theresa.

i do not have a blood clot and if i'd been allergic to the stuff given to me it could have been very bad the tech said. she said they should have never given me inject able especially with no sound proof of an ailment.

so today i am sore and in and out of my mind and trying to rest still trying to listen to see if i can hear my blood thickening. i'm giving myself a major headache that i can't do anything about because i can't take meds until this stuff is out of my system. hoping to be better tomorrow when i really have a lot of shit to do. maybe my fuck up is forgivable...time will tell.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

so

so i'm in publix,
cause i need some stuff.
actually i only need two things and am slightly confused when i notice all the shit i have in my buggy. i must have been having an excellent shopping experience cause there was bob in my step and was humming. i talked myself out of the french horns remembering the last time i had them. it wasn't pretty. talked myself out of the 5lb bag of pistacios. i mean i like them but can only eat a handful before my tongue goes into overdrive. looking at the contents in my buggy if i didn't know better i would have thought i was high....and i wasn't. i end up with 5 things. a rock star energy drink, a bag of tortilla chips, 5 layer dip, those little crab cake things ( cause they must have crack in them), and a six pack of strongbow.

i'm checking out. there is a very eager bagger bagging up my stuff. he is loving his job. an elderly couple is pushing their bag filled buggy towards the sliding doors. mr. eager rushes to aid them. almost knocks the old guy on his ass and bumps his old lady companion into a rack. he explains to them that he wants to take their bags to their car. they say no. he continues to hold on to the buggy pushing it as they are trying to stop him. he explains again that he just wants to do his job well and take their groceries to the car. the old man again says no and adds thanks. the young man then has a slight tantrum and shoves the buggy out of their reach then sulks back over to the register i'm at. you can take my bags if you like, i offer.
he tells me that i only have two bags, they had more and walks away.
i'm sorry, but maybe you had to be there, the shit was funny!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

the straw

i have been running for weeks.
this week has been ridiculously busy and full of stress.
working the social forum, managing to make all the performances, worrying if i was going to lose my house,no time to write, post office still fucking up my mail so much so my children's insurance was cancelled and now other things are being seriously effected, putting so much money out and not getting it back, putting my own financial security at risk....lots of stuff....so when snuggling with my new friend trying to relax i don't remember what i did or said to upset her, but her response to it was the thing that broke me the tears started and they haven't stopped yet. i knew i was inching down the road of overwhelmed but i can usually forestall my breakdowns....yeah, not so much anymore. i lost it bad and i have been sobbing uncontrollably for hours. stress mixed with this menopause shit is like a Molotov cocktail and this shit will last for days....so exhausted and spent.....i have to take myself out of the picture for a few days until this passes.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

i got issues

what is wrong with me
ok so i made a fucking decision.

i'm going to be single for a while cause damn i need an emotional time out or something. clearly i don't listen to myself. and i should learn that every time i say some dumb shit like....i'm not looking for anyone or anything. someone or something falls in my lap. and this time she's a chocolate goddess.....and i must be tripping cause i got my feeling all hurt today and it wasn't even that deep. i had to give myself a mental lashing. i allowed my mental to work me to the point where i caught myself about to cry...what the fuck is that!!

i'm blaming the heat...yeah that's it it's fucking hot...and maybe i'm tired yeah that's it i am tired as hell...and maybe it's cause the sidewalk is crooked..yeah...and maybe just maybe i'm full of shit and actually falling for this girl...stop the fucking madness oh my damn.

okay don't stop it yet, i'm kinda having fun;-)

Monday, June 25, 2007

My birthday!!!!

Your Birthdate: May 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.
A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.
You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.
You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.

Your strength: Your devotion

Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness

Your power color: Lilac

Your power symbol: Heart

Your power month: June

Thursday, May 31, 2007

i've been mused

Kiss
Theresa Davis 2007

Darkness can conceal
But it can’t hide
Tender feeling deep inside
A gentle tug a gentle urge
Spoken without a single word
Hard to touch
Even harder to hold
Inside a secret to unfold
Come closer don’t resist
Kiss

A closeness never felt before
Like this, not like this
The shape of your face your lips
Cause my pen to skip on the page
Imitating my heart, the catch in my breath
The cool touch of fingertips
Across tattooed skin
Warms, heats, engulfs me
Mangles my words
While I try to find something
To do with my hands
You pirouette and pace
Nervous energy at its most graceful
Watching you watch me
Electricity tingling
My skin of fire
This urge to touch you
A sideways glance
An eyebrow raised
A devilish grin
You stutter through my being
Thoughts locked inside my head
Attempt to escape
To paint pictures
Aching to force its way onto pages
A decision to be made
Frustrated by my own fears
Relieved by your honest truths
I float rooted to the spot
Heart pounding pondering
A forever whatever that could mean
Do I fight this feeling?
This need to want you
Let you flow like ink
An opportunity could be missed
If I resist

Your kiss

Monday, May 21, 2007

party time!!!

Cliterati presents
A Duo of Geminis (that's 4 people)
Birthday Spoken Word Bash -
Thursday May 24th
Featuring the political,
the raucous,
the erotic,
the Queer-spittin' vibes of...

Theresa Davis & kathleen delaney!!!!!
(and yes, we are celebrating both of our birthdays, so come spank us!!!!!! *wink*)

At: The Spot
757 Ralph McGill - next to Tower II - in the ATL.
Thursday May 24th @ 8pm!!!
Bring tip money for the b-day gals
& enough to enjoy the Spot's Soul Food!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

if you have ever wondered in your head or out loud
if a man wearing sagging pants
can peddle up a hill
on a bike with two low tires
a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other
while trying to talk on a phone

the answer is well, it takes some work and a lot of wobbling but
yes,
he can

it's not poetry in motion
but he got his ass up the hill breathing hard only stopping to say hold on in the phone take a drag and a drink and pedal on

scenes from my front porch

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Fan Mail

very cool way to begin the day after my coffee!!



Okay, yes, I know. It is ridiculous that a grown woman is writing fan mail to a woman she has never met. However, someone sent me your CD - well, to be honest, I had to harangue her into it but, still, I got it. She played me Butterflies & Rainbows and Rockstar Poet over the phone and I had to hear the rest of it. How can I resist someone who uses both "polysyllabic" and "onomatopoeia"? Clearly, I can not. Since I'm in Michigan, which is no where near Atlanta, I couldn't just go buy one of my own. You are officially now My Favorite Poet, replacing the long-dead-thus-isn't-going-to-write-anymore Rumi.

And just so you know? You are SO my Rockstar Poet.

Barbara

This Week!!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

crazyness

they have rounded the bend and are trying to take my with them.
i am refusing.

they have almost made me pee my pants twice so far because they are insane.
they are the happy crazy since they all seem to be in a good mood.

#1
i told him not to bounce the ball off the tree with so much force. it would bounce of and pop a kid in the head. he tells me he is a professional ball tree bouncer. i tell him i didn't know that was a profession. he is throwing the ball harder and harder. i tell him to be careful. he tells me I GOT THIS MS.T! the ball bounces hard comes back on him with a force that whacks the shit out of him. he staggers sideways and tells me he meant to do that. i am on my knees cracking up.

#2
on kid says to the others.
i wonder will i be able to taste this capris sun (juice box) if i snort it through my nose.i say whoa don't. to late. not sure why he ran. in circles. when he got through spluttering. i asked him how it tasted. he said it tasted like pain and how does anyone snort things up their noses. he declares he's never doing coke. i say good for him. he says yeah dr. pepper either man those drinks would really burn.
there is something wrong with that boy.

#3

so he asks me

(him) what is it?

(me) what is what?

(him) you know IT?

(me) i have no idea what you are talking about.

(him) you know it..is IT a muscle or a bone?

(me) what?
(him) i don't think it's a bone cause it bends.

i look confused. kids are giggling.

(him) you know...It he points.

(me) you mean your penis?

they all fall out laughing.

(me) it's your property you should look it up. (more giggles)

(him) oh I can't. i don't want to see one i just need to know. i did an experiment. is it cartilage?

(me) tissue i say. can we stop talking about this now.

(him) are girls the same?

(me) girls don't have penises.


the moon is going to be full tonight the behavior is so wrong in all the classes. 21 more days!!!!

Monday, April 30, 2007

joke

one of my nose always in a book students just told a joke. made my jaw drop, just a little.

how are michael jackson and wal-mart alike?

they both have boys' pants half - off.

soo bad....i swear i didn't teach him that. but that is twisted hilarious!

Monday, April 23, 2007

stop complaining!!!!

response to middle schoolers complaining and being negative.


To help you look on the bright side, here are some things that could be worse:
Your Butt could fall off.
You could be sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again.
You could be sitting at a table with an apple in your mouth, ready to be eaten.
You could be a mime.
You could like Karaoke.
You could be one of those perky people who smile all the time.
Your head could spin around like that possessed chich in the movies.
on top of everything,
You could permanently itch.
You could be shanghaied into outer space to become some bratty little alien's new pet.
You could discover that your whole life has been meaningless- That all along you've just been a part of somebody else's multiple personality.
You could have NO FRIENDS,
NO BLADDER CONTROL, AND NO SENSE OF HUMOR-
NON OF WHICH, THANKFULLY YET, KNOCK ON WOOD IS TRUE!
Now doesn't that make you feel just a little bit better?

Sunday, April 22, 2007

these dreams

i want to have an event in the fall called the slamlympics. i dreamed about it last night. it was funny and fun as hell but i only remember a few events on was the onomatopoeia slam, the anagram slam, word wizard slam and then the award ceremony. prizes were a bronze, gold or silver engraved pen..... don't steal my fucking idea...and that's all i have to say about that!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Slam Amok

interesting.
i blogged weeks ago about a second place winner in the slam slammed art amok at a different venue. the way i went off i'd have thought he would not show his face. he showed his face. i went off again. i let him know that i would not bar his competing but that i would not put up with any shit. period. i tore him a new ass and he humbled himself. said he wanted to make amends, he was better than that. he was just mad at the judges. i again explained that if your ego is so wrapped up in what 5 random people thought of your hard work and dedication then you should not fuck with slam.
i have not been apologized to that much in a minute. he bought me coffee and i though damn he is really trying to repent all praises to the carmel latte. when he left to get my coffee a poet i am just loving lately Stefen came up and said, "that took some balls!" "from him or me?" i asked. " it took balls for him to take the tongue lashing you just gave him. hell, i would have left semi-humiliated. remind me never to piss you off." i give him props for staying. for competing and making the team. we will see if he follows through on the practice and fund-raising schedule. i think he is going to try his best to follow through, the last thing he wants is me in his face, being right. and angry. and righteous anger conjures up my other goddess
NEMESIS
the spirit of divine retribution against those who succumb to hubris, vengeful fate personified as a remorseless goddess...NEMESIS



Hubris is exaggerated self pride or self-confidence (overbearing pride), often resulting in fatal retribution and .....NEMESIS


she can't be bribed with coffee.........she probably could after a full night of kicking ass this might be what she needs to pick her up in the a.m.
Goddess knows lots of ass needs be kicked!!




was way wired after the slam last night drove my ass across town to get into trouble....
as winter returns to the ATL, it is cold as fuck here!
oh yeah and who made a hot guy????


Monday, April 09, 2007

Sim Crack

i am re hooked on the sims.
now they have this action where they can free style. it's like a spoken word rap kinda fusion thing spoken in siminese. hilarious
who cares if my friends fall out or off the radar? i can re-create them with scary accuracy and not let them pee. i can make them the crazy old cat ladies they are in their heads. i can make NEW FRIENDS!! And now that i have seasons and pets you can be left in the rain or sucked up into a terrible tornado you and your little dog too!

fun, sad but fun.
back to school. omg
three droolers and one who forgot that you need stuff like pens, paper, your textbooks, a lunch. holy crap. they will become sims now for their sins.

my mom called me six times today asking me to pick her up. each time giving me a different time. i asked her, "are you aware that you keep asking me the same thing?" yes, she says like it makes perfect sense for her to continue to do so. finally calling me with a rapid fire of three different times . i said can you just pick a time any goddamn time. she thought this was hilarious. then she called back still laughing, she forgot she had a ride already............i decide it's not Alzheimer's, she's incredibly busy organizing the U S Social Forum yes it's that, she's not just fucking with me. she may have to become a sim for her sins............???

April?May

Friday, March 30, 2007

unfucking believable

This is long and I'm pissed, get a snack, and some coffee.

so last night i was supposed to be a featured performer at Jazzman's Cafe on the Morehouse campus. The program was to address the issues between Spelman and Morehouse and was sponsored by Men Stopping Violence. Very cool and I was honored to be asked to use my voice to speak out against violence against women and the misogyny that runs ramped.
This was the first event that this brother had organized so I knew there might be bumps. Turns out he didn't secure a spot in the show that already happens at this venue. OK
The young man hosting the event refused to give up a block of time for Men Stopping Violence. OK
Our feature turned into signing up on the open mic list. OK
So basically I would be paid to read one poem..OK
Phoenix Y Z and I arrived at 7pm for a show that began at 7:30 that really didn't start until almost 8:30. OK

When we arrived I realized that the young man hosting this show was the same young man who came in last at the Art Amok slam last weekend.I have worked with him before but he never remembers me. He won't have that problem again.
I have a theory about clicky spots, and If I know the spot tends to be clicky I don't mind it can be entertaining at times. Our names are being pushed down the list. For a moment I think is he pissed because he didn't win? Is he doing this cause he's piss that this other group tried to insert themselves?

The third poet up is a young man who came in second at our slam. He gets on the mic and says he was in the bogus slam last weekend, and he lost to a white girl who did a poem about breezes blowing across the earth and under her bed. He butchers her name quite on purpose. Proceeds to tell the crowd of more than 80 folks not to support Art Amok because we are racist and not down with the black man. That he knows he should have won the 50 dollars and the all-expense paid trip to Austin(what? no fucking body rides for free)? They gave me some CD and a book talkin bout how its so good book by patty somebody. That he was going to do the same piece he did then and they tell him if he should have won. He proceeds to do his piece. as misogynistic as it was they loved it.

I am pissed.
Then the host gets all embolden and says yeah, can the crowd believe that he came in last and they even forgot to say my name. Don't support wack poetry spots. Don't support Art Amok. Pho and I are livid. Two more poets go. I seethe. They call my name. I get on the mic.

I say, You know brother I apologized to you when I didn't say your name in the right order at the slam.
His mouth gapes,"That was you?"

"Yes,(in the mic) I was in drag and I am aware that I make a damn good looking man but that was me, I am Theresa Davis the (I took liberties here for effect) captain of the 2006 Art Amok Slam Team. I stand her(I look at my skin) black so I don't think the conspiracy theory holds. Slams are random and the venue has nothing to do with the scores you received from the judges. Brother who came in second you told a great story you left out some details, the most major being that at no time was an all expense anything promised, the book I gave you was by Patricia Smith a damn near legendary slam poet, you didn't lose based on the judges you could have won had it not been for the time penalty. There are rules in slam those being poems must be 3 minutes, the poem is too long for slam, and if you chose to let the judging of five random people dictate the worth of your words, you ego is not suited for slam. It's a game and if you don't know the rules maybe you shouldn't play. Judges, judge based on content, style and performance, I am a slam poet."

I get back on the topic of Men Stopping Violence. Talk about the different kinds of violence including verbal for the sour poets. Then I step away from the mic and proceed to slam the shit out of Lepidoptery. I have never performed that piece like that. The noisy coffee house was dead silent except for the sound on my big ass mouth. The line "can you trust a system fearful of butterflies" directed at the host. His mouth still gaping. The crowd erupts at the end. My parting word don't believe the hype come check Art Amok out for yourself, form your own opinions!

Pho goes after me. She explains how she was supposed to be here for this because if someone had told her that another poet would diss the venue like that she wouldn't have believed them.She can only imagine what was said at The Apache when he (the 2nd place dude is the host at that venue) was freshly pissed that he didn't win. Blasted them for putting down the women who organize and work hard for Art Amok and the irony of us being there to speak on the topic of misogyny. She nails her piece.

Then we do what I never do. We get our cash, blatantly pick up our shit, and leave. The host trying to recover as we are leaving, yes he sees us, trips over his tongue and knocks over the mic.....something about knowing you are wrong..let's call it Karma.

Coffee $ 3.75

1 Poem $ 75.00

Calling motherfuckers out as liars in their own spot at their own mic AND proving them to be the self absorbed, ego-maniacal , assholes that they are in the process.....priceless!
link

Thursday, March 22, 2007

yikes

so you know how i have this fear of stuff hauling stuff
my near misses
death by chirstmas tree
death by port - o - potty
" by matress and washer dryer combo
when i saw this i was so glad i wasn't behind it
i have never seen a marta train hauled in this manner
yikes

Monday, March 19, 2007

well at least we get a pool??

So this was the view this morning!!






And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
Of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Truffula Tree of them all!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

in progress

there must be a way of making
the transitions smoother
experiences more pleasant
my life as this women
salted
peppered
with pains and delight
events that dance
through my psyche sugary sweet
or leave me wiping de ja vu tears
of drowning sorrow
wet faced remembering the present

losing my virginity
not at all what is was built up to be
took three tries to find my rhythm
only to switch dj’s in my thirties

a car accident in the third trimester
with my second child
rear view mirror terror
struck from behind
i saw it coming
warned my passengers of the pending impact
twisting my roundness to grip my first
in her piece of shit car seat
the gnashing of metal
fingernails on chalkboard
my belly ate the steering wheel
my first slips
slides under the seat
car still in motion
belly lodged
i grab her up
remove a French fry from her hair
deposit her in my sister’s lap
she sitting shotgun
they screaming in unison
before the car stopped
seat belt disengaged
rage filled tears
throwing open his door
my words yelled slurs
he takes in my form
his cell phone the size of a block of cheese
falls to the street
the call dropped for sure
he reaches for me
i watch the clouds

this memory always
brings a hand to my belly
tattooed wheel marks
replaced by the kind that stretch
a now empty vessel
a womb once invaded by renegade cells
removed
a residual memory where my children once lived
a long lost x ray
film you don’t want developed
a piece of my puzzle
slips out of place to complete
a picture of me
this woman in this life

i’m here again
familiar surroundings
again hearing the tale of marauding cells
that seems to have retreated, regrouped
found a new battle field
cleverly disguised as my left breast
a war not confirmed
cold harsh instruments seeking
malignant masses
poked prodded
tired
another piece of me under threat

they tell me no battle is raging
within the flesh amour
holding in the ribs
that wrap my heart
for now they add
as seriously as
a backwards glance
i never want to be here again
six months from now
i’ll have no choice
i will make my transition smoother
for if peace talks fail
and the war begins
hand over my left breast
following the heart beat within
i’ll be ready to fight

Monday, March 05, 2007

this shit is funny

This is the video that dead presidents is linked to on you tube. ha!


Wild Women

mom and i

finally i decompress.


what a weekend!


i spent it doing what i love surrounded by the folks i love.


poetry and karen g, ami mattison, collin kelley, rage, vagina jenkins, stacie b, pho yz, heather, mom and the finale with miss doria (fine-ass) roberts!


who needs sleep?


me actually and lots of it.


Sunday, March 04, 2007

Thread

the thread stretched
near the breaking point
i've been here before
hell i live here
my strings always taut
stretched and stretched
leave marks on my body
adds a swagger to my step
implying a guttural coolness
cause saying you're tired is too cliche
i can do this
spread thin
i won't stick to bones
this mask around my eyes
the bandit
stealing my time and
i don't want it back
i want to get it all done
now and lotus position my way
back to myself
stretching like the minutes
that pass too quickly
the days that should come with meters
so i can drop my pennies to add
more time
and time again creeps me into submission
my kingdom for a pillow
my crown for comfort
i can do this
it's what we do
we women
we mothers
we keep it going
cause who else is going to do it
eyes heavy with accomplishment
my reward
the looks on their faces
baptized by their gratitude
falling backwards into love
pouring down
like summer rains
drenched in my dedication
a deluge the washes away doubt
reminds me why i am here
kneeling sometimes
not cause i'm weary
praying for the strength
absorbing
why i do this
i can do this
for them
for my children
the thread will hold

until it doesn't

i can do this

until i can't

i can't wait around for that day
i don't have time

Friday, March 02, 2007

TONIGHT!!!

The AWP Conference is in full swing, and one of the big off-site
readings
will be happening Friday (March 2) night as part of the monthly Poetry
at
Portfolio Center reading/open mic. Our special guest features will be
award-winning poets Peter Pereira and Ann Fisher-Wirth (more on them
below).
Sign up for the open-mic portion will begin at 7:30 p.m. and the
reading
gets under way at 7:30 p.m.

Also during the evening, poets featuring on Saturday at the AWP reading
"OUTspoken" will also perform, including Theresa Davis, Franklin
Abbott,
Larry Corse and Robin Kemp.

Portfolio Center is located at 125 Bennett St., just off Peachtree
Road, in
Buckhead. Mick's restaurant is on the corner, so you can't miss it.
Come all
the way to the end of Bennett and PC is on your right. Plenty of free
parking. And the event is FREE! Visit www.portfoliocenter.com if you
need
directions.

After that

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Saturday

Theresa Davis Featured Peforming Artist





Come Share Your Love with LLL and Theresa Davis This Saturday

The event you've heard about, read about, can now be experienced first hand this Saturday, February 24th at Aphrodite's Toy Box. In collaboration with Aphrodite's Toy Box, Felicity Nuance, and Labrys Atlanta Magazine, Nghosi Books is bringing you its Ultimate Pleasure Series with the premiere of Sexy Saturday Storytelling!

One of our featured spoken word artists for the evening will be Theresa Davis. Theresa is one of Atlanta's best known performance poets, giving voice to the things that you've been thinking but never could articulate. She has gone on to forge an impressive career as a solo performer, winning poetry slams, and featuring at spoken word venues around Atlanta and the nation, as well as leading writing and performance workshops and headlining conferences across the southeast. She is a member of The Word Diversity Collective/Art Amok and represented Atlanta as a member of the 2006 Art Amok Slam Team in Austin, Texas last summer. Theresa continues to document her poetry as a staff writer of Labrys Atlanta Magazine. Her children Imani (18), Tia (17) and Zion (6) are her constant sources of energy and inspiration.


So please join Theresa Davis this Saturday, February 24th from 8:00p.m. - 10:30p.m., as she and the other talented artists share their blessings with us.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

ART AMOK & CLITERATI!!!

Cliterati & ART AMOK!
present
AMY WEAVER
Thursday, February 22nd, 8pm
at THE SPOT
736 Ralph McGill Blvd.
ATL (between block Lofts, & Tower II)
Because open mouths need food & words!
$5 for the artist
AMY WEAVER is introspective, fearless, and dynamic. She is a survivor whose work covers literacy, feminism,
diversity and biting social commentary. She loves to perform, was born to teach and hopes to someday
be worth her weight in poem.She's so brave, she can talk about her Vag in a room of hundreds.
PS (THIS IS HER BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!) Audio samples of her work can be found at www.myspace.com/amyweaver.
THEN
ART AMOK! Slams w/ Amy Weaver!
Saturday, February 24th
$6, FREE to slam,
first come first served slam sign-up 9.30pm
7 Stages Theater
1105 Euclid Ave.
ATL, 30307 (next to Variety Playhouse in Little 5 Points)
404-523-7647 box office
AMY IN SLAM POETRY:
As a part of the Dallas SLAM poetry scene, Amy's accomplishments in the past 5 years include:

2001—Team Dallas (rookie year) wins the National Poetry Slam, bringing the first championship to Texas.
2004—February, represented Dallas at the first Individual World Poetry Slam
in Greenville, South Carolina
2004----August, Team Dallas, takes 3rd place over more than 70 Teams at the NPS held in St. Louis, MO.
Her poem achieved the highest score of the evening in the team finals round.
2006—Competed and coached a 1st year team from Dallas--Pugsley's Library at the NPS held in Austin.
The team was highly acclaimed for their group work, and Amy's performance as an individual poet
landed her on the Individual Finals stage, placing 10th in the nation.
She is only the 3rd Dallas/Fort Worth poet to reach the Individual Finals at NPS.

Other credits

Since 2004, Amy has been mistress of all things poem at the Annual Deep Ellum Arts Festival. She schedules all of its performers and volunteers for the poetry stage for this 3-day outdoor event, uniting readings across the DFW metroplex with slams and readings held throughout the weekend, as the on-site coordinator. She also hosts many of the events held throughout the festival.

Amy has been featured at numerous Slam venues, poetry events, and festivals across the nation, including the Nuyurican, Bar 13, and Bowery Poetry Club in New York City, some of the most prestigious venues in the country. She is the author of 4 poetry collections, Snapshots and Confessions(2000), Naked (Snapshots and Confessions (2003), and Look Both Ways Before Jumping Off This Cliff (2005). She has also released 2 spoken word CD's, Naked (2001) and People, Places, and Things (2005). She is available for Feature Performances, event hosting, writing and performance workshops, and lectures.
In May of 2006, Amy graduated from the University of North Texas earning a B.A. in both English Literature and History. She worked on-campus for 3 years in the Office of Disability Accommodation as the Lead Test Proctor and Assistant Testing Coordinator. She was also active in the local chapter of GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Denton).

--
Because open mouths need open mics.
http://cliterationline.com

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Celebrate Good Time



HAPPY FORCED AMERICAN ROMANCE BRAINWASH CONSUMERISM DAY!!!





Yes, I said it.
What happened to the days when you just knew someone was your Valentine.
They didn't have to be exclusive just allow you to give them a little card that said something clever like,"I CHOO CHOO CHOOSE YOU!"
Now there is built in rejection.
I watched helplessly as countless middle schoolers were shut down by potential valentines. Sad! I became default valentine for a few meaning the chocolate gods were kind!

I didn't ask my valentine to be my valentine officially, sorta just assumed valentineship. Hopefully shut down is not in my future!