Saturday, December 10, 2016

August 2

I don't know if it was the insult or injury
or both
I only know that they happened
I only know that I wasn't there

probably a good thing
or not

maybe I would have done headlines
maybe I would have done worst'
maybe it wouldn't have happened in the first place
or second
I could have saved you from yourself
or at the very least from me
time will never know


this could be a tale
or a story wrapped in a tale
or a testimony speaking
of what is happening right now
in front of all of our faces

or maybe it is a tale
made story
made testimony
turned eulogy
because the teller is no longer  
even though she wears that body  
a mask
a premonition of what is to come

maybe what has happened
would have happened anyway

there was no other outcome
no other foothold safe haven

maybe broken is a noun
that wears her name

maybe she never knew
what her name meant
if she did
maybe that
could have made the difference
and maybe she didn’t care
never could

biology or circumstance

maybe there are too many factors
to factor
and maybe the sound of family
on her tongue hurt too much
to taste
and in her regret
the only thing she felt
was fist and slander
and not you,
not anymore

the tale told wrong
the story without
a believable happy ending
the testimony told through
clenched teeth
the obituary written
before the death
before the killing
before you knew
what it meant
all of it

before you realized
that you couldn’t hold the love
so you had to rid yourself of it
of us
bury it all
call it a goodbye

call it a crucifixion