the jist of it

Today was their chance to impress me. They kinda dropped the ball on that one. They think they are so clever and charming when in actuality they are just rude as hell. As they have no sense of humor they mistake everything for humor. I had to explain to them that if they really thought that putting someone else down in order to get a chuckle from someone they barely like themselves was funny, they were wrong. It wasn't funny just sad. In a class full of difference and misfits, I am always shocked when they don't recognize that the way they treat people is the way thy were treated and they didn't find the receiving all that groovy. But boy do they dish it out. My next plan I think is to seee if they can take it. My money says they can't.

We celebrated National Talk Like a Pirate Day in our customary way a trip to Pirate Cove! Putt-putt golfing at it's best. So much water surrounds the pirate ship run a ground so many colorful balls were lost in the drink. The occasional cannon firing scared the he'll out of a few and my laughter wasn't wasted, or withheld. I giggled loudly! I expected them to lose their minds a bit on the course but still watched for their mean ways and found them.

We usually bombard the Steak and Shake, they were not ready. When I asked for a table for fifteen, I thought the waitresses head was going to spin. Took her over fifteen minutes to get herself together and get us a damn table. They were fine in the restaurant, mostly because I threatened the hell out of them. They made a mess. It was milkshake happy hour so we got a nice discount and our waitress got a big fat tip!

reality

My school year thus far has been a hot mess. So much so that I was forced to remove my rose tinted glasses. I know that the support from my administration has been less and less in the last ten years but even knowing this it still feels like a slap. I follow the rules and procedure but with all of my years experience with classroom management when there is no accountability eventually the sickness will trickle down and infect. I despise apathy. I despise even more than apathy undermining, and yet, I find myself caught in the muck and mire of both. I can't even be mad at the student, whose behavior was so far off the fucking chain, for taking advantage of the advantages given to him. If I could break all the rules, add some violence, and very scary behavior, get sent to the office and watch as nothing happened. I too, would feel the power in that and exploit it. Why not? I mean if folks are just giving power away, hell yes, I want mine. But this is not how you empower children, not in any productive way. And while it gave him a false sense of power it showed me how little administration respected me as a teacher, a woman and a human. I knew I'd learn the most in my last year.

So now I have to reign in the others who think that as long as they don't do what he did they can do whatever. Really? My in-house discipline will teach them otherwise. I will have my last year and enjoy it, and it will be the last thing I do in my current employment.

What happens next?
I have no Idea. But I am unafraid and excited to see myself on the other side.