because sometimes in order to deal with the pain you have to point fingers, or even name names, which can make you feel better, or feel worse no doubt, but this blog keeps me off the shrinks big comfy couch!!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Locker Rooms and Fairy-Tales
Locker Rooms and Fairy-Tales
we could never
get our combination
just right
19 – 24 – 42
42
this number splashed across your chest
I didn’t see it right away
But later it will hang banner like in my mind
You were wearing that number when
I out-ted us both
My skinny legs
Wearing cheerleader garb
You would be angry for a time
We will make up like benediction before the fact
You will leave
Later you will return
Only to leave again
Proving
That even the most hungry of hearts
Can be broken twice
And learn on live on
I don’t know this back then
Recall it now in perfect pitch
Listen
For the punch line
42 – 24- 19
19
I was nineteen when I rolled up on campus
A Prince in purgatory
A non conformist
They will not get me here
And you
Weeks later
Would get me here
Slam my brain against my heart
Later it will become relevant
I learned the definition of infatuated
It rolled off my lips landed between your thighs
I learned pleasure in two tongues’
yours and mine
conversing daily
sometimes more than once
I became fluent
You dug that shit
Soon you will leave
I will be devastated
While pretending not to be
19
19 – 42- 24
24
twenty-four years later
social media will do what I could not
find you in 24 hours
something I hadn’t managed in 24 years
I ask if you are you
You tell me you are
And we fall back into patterns of 19 and 42
You would think we were discovering new lands
Instead of plotting old paths
No compass just reaction
Fairy-tale mentality mixed with heat
We got two years out of it
Two years of mixed emotions and regret
Two years of why did we think we could go back
I wonder
If I had found you 24 years before
42 would not have been an issue
We might have had 19 years of bliss
Or not, but we will never know
we could never
get our combination
just right
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