Me feeling insecure

If I thought about it
And I'm not saying I think about it
But if I thought about it
I might think that I thought too late
Hung up on regret and what if
As I hang myself on what if
Regret
I am not new at this
Not old at this
What is this?
What am I doing wrong?
Something is wrong
Or maybe it's right and
I don't recognize it because
Things here have never been right like that.

I have never been here before
And maybe I have
Can't remember
And maybe it wasn't me
And maybe
Maybe
This is that thing I was
Warned about
You follow too close
You feel when feelings are not
A part of the plan

Did you plan?
Of course you didn't
That would be normal
And when was the last time
You were normal...
Like never,
Like maybe now
Like no
Like stop
Like you are doing too much
And no one cares if you feel
So don't feel
Put it away like you do,
Did the other things
Put it away.
No one wants to see
No one wants this
Just you.
Put it away
Pretend you never
It never
You were never ever here..
Shhhhhhhhhhh
Go to sleep now
You are so tired
And no one wants to see.
Especially the one you want to see
You are doing too much,
Again,
You are doing it again!
Go to sleep!
For real this time.
Goodnight