28/30 Digging For Lost Gold

so much of what happened
could have been avoided
a simple no
a withdrawal of eye contact
removal of the cables
before they attempt to
jump start old business
not accepting your friend request
that is what I should have done
had i done that actually listened
to my shoulder angels
both of them screaming
you know fucking better
with their flares and sirens
had i listened
so much of this could have been ignored

but honestly,
i don't think it could be avoided
i don't think i wanted to avoid it
i know i wanted to jump in
knew it was the deep end
but i was a fucking lifeguard once
and if i can save others surely
i can save myself plus
i wanted to see if for who it was in real time
wanted to touch it make it say my name again
hold it close again whisper in its ear
hands on my hips strapped in pleasure
breaking beds and climbing walls

i didn't avoid it because i
wondered if i sprawl under her
all X marks the spot my geography
all its boarders wide open
if she would remembered where
my treasure was buried
and plunder


she did