Encounter #5

I pretend you don't exist sometimes
place your image in a box next to my heart
I pull you from my chest every once in a while
to be dazzled by your smile
resist the urge to sink
because you could drown me beautiful.

When you called today
I felt the shimmy under my ribs
heard the want in your voice
decided it might be safe to call you real
that my old-fashioned heart could
forget a decade plus and maybe
one day you'll call me cougar.

What I notice first is my need to write
make you etched and hope
push the "R" harder on this keyboard
so I know how Real this could be
and maybe I need these words
to remind myself not to be afraid
not to move too fast a known flaw
because you could drown me beautiful.