The first one went well. Discovery, similar interests, closer to my age. This one started off fine. I told her how I just had dinner with my best boy friend The Ken of J, how I wanted to kidnap him to Savannah but he couldn't but it's in the plans for the future. She told me about her day and her plans for the rest of the weekend and we chat about plans to meet face to face next week.
She says, " Let's play a game. I am going to ask you a random question and you answer it then you can ask me one."
I think, great!Let's play.
The question is , " What is a reason you might give your partner flowers?"
I say, "Saturday. I am a romantic any day is a reason to give flowers or office products or whatever thing I am looking at that makes me think of my partner and that my partner should have it."
She says, "Awww, that's beautiful. You know I can count on my hands and not use all of the fingers the number of times my EX gave me flowers."
Then she documents the times. A lot!
I say, " Well, situations change and so do people. When would you give flowers or the like?"
She says, " Well, I have so little experience with that because my EX....."
I'm not sure how it happened but suddenly we are talking about her ex, and when I say we I mean she. For over an hour.
Now several things occur to me as I zone out of the conversation.
1 - I am tired of seeing/dating/fucking folks still hung up on their EX's.
2 - Internet dating kinda sucks.
3 - Why isn't there a class or something for this?
4 - I should paint this room.
5 - Is it that I am having some insecurity about breathing on the neck of fifty, that I think I will not be desirable and this is why I have put myself in this place?
I try to redirect. "What's the last movie you saw?"
"Well, my EX and I saw......"
I am lonely. But not this lonely.