Friday, February 28, 2014

Two Figures with Flowers

I am two states away staring 
at the same picture that hangs on a wall in your house 
it reminds me of the last time I saw you 
flames in the background. 

I am staring at this image 
remembering how tired I felt in that moment 
when you shifted into shallow 
all my limbs aching from confinement 
my heart on the floor 
torn between the relief 
the freedom of closeted love 
and the grief of losing you. 

Two states away my hands 
my hips 
remember the feel of lust in the dark 
away from prying eyes 
a secret I could not keep 
not for long 
your body's press on me 
the way I reveled and moaned. 

Tomorrow I will leave this state 
a steering wheel trapped between my fists 
headed back to my life 
the one you never inhabited fully. 

Is it coincidence that this painting 
exists in two different states 
or that you attempted to siren song me 
back into your bed of lies 
or that my hands crave the geography of you? 

I have been looking for home 
in all the wrong closets 
in all the wrong smiles 
welcomed more warmly by strangers 
than by you, who claimed to know me
or want to. 

This painting 
these two figures 
they peer out so full of sadness and regret 
I feel they may be warning me 
the smaller figures eyes 
seem to implore reminding me 

"remember what happened last time"

the flowers have nothing to report.

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