Monday, May 08, 2017

The Third Time is Phucking Free.

I had a moment today that put one of my confusing to myself perspectives in clearer view. I give folk three chances in most things, even love and this is bad. Who needs their heart broken by the same person three times? Well, me apparently. Working on that mostly by staying away from anything or one that might get a hopeless romantic going, it's all I got for now, still healing.

Today I went shopping to make the bomb ass Enchilada Casserole, see picture below, and I used a coupon that is worded strangely and every time I use one of them the cashier has no fucking idea what she/he/they are doing. Every. Fucking. Time.

This time the cashier has given the coupon too much value.

I know what the phuck you're thinking, a deeper discount just take it and go, And I hear you, but Karma is a fuck place with GPS and sometimes I am too damn honest for my own good. Ask my ex's.

So I say to her, well it should actually be for $2.19 not 3 dollars. She looks at me like I slapped her dog and called her stupid.
I got a neck roll y'all.

She read the coupon back to me like I was stupid and she slapped my dog. She so fuckin lucky I don't have a dog. So I just said, no I wasn't judging the coupon, it's worded funny, just thought you should know.

I got a teeth suck y'all.

She read it again, pointing at the words, loudly. I gave her a Dora the Explorer stare, you know the one where you hear the blink. That was the third time so I accepted the discount. This way I can show Karma the receipt and be like, Heffa look.

This thing reminds me of the free dryer. Not hair a dryer but the big ass thing that dries wet clothes, that dryer. It was the same thing. I went to buy it ran my credit card a second before
remembering that I put the $300 limit cause the holidays and I was spending entirely too much money on relationships that I was the only one who thought that's what that was. Of course the card was declined. I told them why it declined. They looked at me like,"Yeah, sure that's why." Told them I'd be back in 20 minutes just leave it where it is. I came back 18 minutes later. Walked up to the service counter where my new shiny ass dryer sat looking at me like, "Yeah, I'm going home with you tonight!"

My turn. I tell the cashier that I am here to pay for my dryer and I point to it proudly. She pulls off the paperwork attached and says,
Her -"You taking it now or do you want it delivered?"
Me- "Delivered."
Her- "What's your address?" I tell her.
Her- "Thursday morning OK?"
Me - "Thursday morning is great!"
Her- "Ok, NEXT."
Me- "I need to pay you."
Her - "It's paid for, you wanna another copy of the receipt?"
Me- "No I haven't paid yet."
Her- (pointing at the receipt like I'm stupid) "What does that say?
Me- "Paid. But I's not cause..." She cuts me off.
Her - "Are you Theresa Davis?"
Me- "Yes, but."
Her- "Do you live at (she says my address loudly and I'm like oh yea, tell the stalkers everything why the phuck don't ya in my brain and starting to get irritated)
Me - "Yes, but"
Her - "Here's the copy of your receipt and it will be delivered on Thursday."

That was the third time.
Free dryer with no threat of Karma coming back at me and if this person's drawer came up several hundred dollars short, she brought that shyt on herself three times.

So it's a good policy with stuff, but I gotta not do it with my heart. Gotta try something new there.
There is only so much tape.
There are only so many poems.
That's a lie, There are tons of poems.
Too fucking honest!