1/30 The Problem With Giving Yourself a Pep Talk...

Rough Rant


the problem with giving yourself a pep talk
is that half way through the conversation
you begin to believe it’s all bullshit
like heard it all before
going to change your ways
quit repeating past mistakes
you are not insane
got a bead on the problem
it’s not you it’s them
it’s not over it’s just beginning
and you are mad because all around you is madness
and when they call you paranoid
you punch first and often
aim for their lying throat
because you see what you see despite the spin
the media machine and all the slant
the mass amnesia of forgotten home

and for the life of you
you can't understand
why they are holding their tongues
while yours is flapping flag and no one salutes
you feel the distortion, the rage
it bubbles fist clinched raised
they call you feminist and defensive like that’s a bad thing
when you tell them to go fuck themselves they
blame your disposition on PMS
then you remember where you live
how in this place your kind is just vessel
you are female
some see that as rape-able
breakable
commodity
you remember that talk you had with that cop
the cop who watched as a man let the air out of your tires
then lay in wait for your retuen dark night
that cop who waited and watched
as would be predator ran in terror because
he picked the wrong chick
on the wrong day
the chick who kicks and screams
when she know the tires are brand new
that chick who punches brick walls in an empty parking lots
smacked her chest and says what the fuck are you looking at
in the direction of his fleeing shadow
how he that cop sat and watched
and if it had been another day
and you were not that chick all spit fire and pissed
all brand new tire confident
distracted by the calm
he, that cop might have watched you victim,
raped,
robbed woman
later explaining to you
that how you were dressed made you made
dressing like some long haired sexy pirate
men find that attractive tone down your attractive
dress differently girl
woman
female
know your geography where you live
remember they are men they can't help what they do
remember weak ass Adam
remember the fruit
remember you are fruit
soft skin and sweet
ripe for the picking
pick you up off floor
off dirt road
off asphalt in well-lit parking lot
drag you across town
drag you across Ohio
on and off buses
piss on your skin
why you wearing your skin
look how you wearing that skin
it’s so tight that skin
the way it clings to all your parts
they can see you parts underneath all that skin
you know some men find skin sexy
why you out here wearing all that skin
you fruit
you woman
you asking to be peeled back and tasted
don't you know you are fruit and they don't
want you to own your tree
remember where you live
that you are female just like your daughters
it’s not you it’s them
it’s not over it’s just beginning
the problem with giving your daughters a pep talk
is that half way through the conversation
you begin to fear that they will believe it’s all bullshit
so you dig your roots in deeper
stand firm in your own tree
make them understand this is real