Hand Over Mouth

once she held me in her mouth 
a future secret she would never tell to anyone 
while declarations seeped from my skin 
an open letter band-aid placed 
where surgery was needed 
I found my heart between her thighs 
comfort between heaving breast 

I forgot we were a secret 

forgot how loud my pulse 
so high on happy 
I didn't notice my shades of browns and greens 
turning rainbow and glitter 
but, 
I always believed it was my smile 
so big it was a beacon 
so bright it caught everyones attention 

she spit me out 
she never put me in her mouth again