Monday, April 10, 2006

intimidating you say

note to reader
i am again not using punctuation again
i will also not be capitalizing and my subject matter is upsetting to me so i will be cursing like a fucking sailor on shore leave at a nunnery
oh yes and my spelling won't be great

i was told last night by someone that they were intimidated by me
i thought they were kidding
i hear that a lot and don't own it usually as something i exude
i don't wake up for instance and say
you know what i think i will go out and intimidate many
i am aware that i have a strong personality and at times i can be intense
even scary
only sometimes
so the same person then proceeds to hit on the person i happen to be seeing right now
they wait of course until i leave the table and while i perform but clearly they were not intimidated enough by me
so now
i'm pissed
and i don't even care if it's not rational
the fact that this person believed i wouldn't be told astounds me
the denial when i confronted astounded me more
the fact that this person had the fucking nerve to raise a voice to me was equally astounding
but by far the most astounding thing is the fact that i resisted the urge to knock this person the fuck out
it's not an ownership thing
i know it is ridiculous to even think you can own someone
i am just happy to have the time to get to know people
owning them is not something i wish to do
it's about respect for others and self
i wasn't respected and my friend is left in a funky ass position of feeling uncomfortable
who crossed the boundary and is this other person was really my friend
i want to let it go but right now
i can't
i'm going to need a wide birth
because i haven't had the urge to pop someone in a really long time
last time i felt this way
didn't go so good there was mad violence at the Masquerade
i tried to beat someone into another century
and we all know i am way too old for this
sanity thy name is elusive

1 comment:

M. Ru Pere said...

Damn, I was so meaning to make that reading and stuff happened at the last minute - and who said poetry readings don't have any action? That is pretty brazen, to hit on the poet's sig other while she's up there ranting - but she is muy cute, . . . oops, wasn't hitting on her, I promise . . . !