i'm ready

last night was great!
i love Cleo and heard poetry i'd never heard of his.
i was sorry i had to leave early. the performance at the eye drum was awesome!
i got my first encore, so they got rock star poet.
the line " i want back ground singers, who put out but don't sing, cause this is poetry"
elicited cat calls of "i'll put out"
and yes i lost my shit for a minute
giggling fit had to regroup.
very receptive and friendly audience.
lot's of fun.
my new piece rewind.
what can i say i love it, and with the rewrites the feeling i wanted to express comes through more clearly than before. it's not about anger, but more about the idea of being stuck in your past. the difficulty in watching someone you care about, with so much to offer, not seeing what you see. whether afraid or unsure.
the feedback was incredible and i left a few friends in tears and a few who related.
lots of full body hugs that you feel in your toes.
it's great when you feel like someone gets it.
suffices to say when i giggled during rock star the entire audience laughing with me and shouting "rewind!"

i think myself is kicking back in.
finally, she was starting to get on my fucking nerves.
i'm ready to make this thing work for me.
any who want to share are welcome.
but be sure that you believe what you see.
believe what you hear.
that i love my friends with the thickness of molasses.
i finished my cd, and will be recording the new piece this weekend!
some excitingly, sad, interesting, confusing, and soul searching days are ahead...hope to see you there.

i didn't order that

How much SHIT.....?
Things I need to stop doing....

i need to stop pretending to listen to assholes. it only encourages them and we have all seen little assholes that become bigger.

i need to stop resisting the urge to slap people. Some people need to be slapped, repeatedly..as in over and over and over again.

i need to stop letting shit go cause some people are clueless to the fact that the bitch me is still in town. she's trying to fucking evolve and folks are pushing their fucking luck!

i need to remember i'm too pretty to go to jail.

let those who don't value me rot in a special place in hell.

i need to learn how to express my anger, stop being so repressed and shy.

yup...i need a drink!
and someone to help me work out some aggressions!

I was almost WONDER WOMAN!!!

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 70% Wonder Woman 65% Superman 60% Spider-Man 60% Supergirl 55% Robin 55% Green Lantern 55% The Flash 50% Hulk 35% Catwoman 35% Batman 25%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

questions

I guess this is how it's done you get out what you've been thinking and not saying........ I've answered a lot of questions over the last week, I've asked myself a lot. The answers rarely fit or make sense. These are the questions that i have only been able to answer with more questions. I fucking hate that.

what does it mean
to be in that moment
where a minute seem too long
the seconds drag out
ecstasy becomes agony
questions burn
like bridges
memory fades
gone forever
can't hold on to the thoughts that
think there way in
out stretched along time lines that lie
beyond your reach yet you still try to grab
to hold on
hold yourself together
what does it mean?

maybe the meaning is lost
or was never there
a cosmic joke
meant to send you into tailspins of relief and sorrow
helping to hold
to heal
having what's left disregarded
a backwards glance
a second thought
the final straw

what does it mean
to be rightand wrong at the same time
to be banished where colors don't mix
regardless of the way they compliment
to begin something so fragile
it could break
under subtle pressures
never implied
or applied
will yourself to have the strength
build what is broken

what does it mean
to do all you know
and have it not matter
no matter what you do
loathing by loving
crushing with every caress
killing with kisses
you hurt without having the power to heal
and yet
you do........
questions in the back of my mind
but what do they mean???

my kingdom for a minute to myself
1906 performance tonight at Eyedrum
Then the drag show!!!!!!!
see you there

learning curves

so yesterday was international talk like a pirate day
and my class young pirates in training
and went pillaging and plundering
big fun
we ended by going to support our favorite pirate
Captain Jack Sparrow
and i learned something new
we arrived to the movie early cause they wanted to spend booty at the arcade
i sat in the lobby and watched several people arrive in different cars
longish hugs
light snacks
all in all about 10 couples

so
we thought that we were the only ones in the theater
we were not
pirate's is a pretty fucking loud movie
but there are quiet times
where the soundsof oh baby sex in the movie theater was very pronounced
the panting and sighing
and other audible squishy sounds were almost funny
we started being obnoxiously loud talking back to the screen
with me interjecting
loudly
"are you guys having a fun field trip! middle schoolers are in the house!!"
so on and so on
pirates is three hours long
that's a lot of theater fucking
sowhat have we learned today students

that when you get older and you want to have an affair you should meet your lover in the movie theater and please watch for marauding middle schoolers

class dismissed

single again
not doing this anymore
don't like the way they end
don't like the way i end up feeling
i don't like any of it
you would think i'd learn
hopefully this time i have

another one bites the dust

Th LL Word a twisted tale

They watch me
Trying to anticipate my every move
Searching they seek me out
I keep a watchful eye
Watching them
As they watch me
Gracefully they saunter
Statuesque and regal
So lofty in their expression
They seem to know everything
In all their beauty they seem to be missing something
Their incessant stares look right through me
An almost jealous twinge in their eyes
I pretend not to notice their probing
Try to avoid direct eye contact
Their eyes so deep might capture me reveal a weakness they blink lush lashes
Quickly moving out of the frame of my classroom window
They make no sounds
But their miasmic stare
Keep me alert
I fear they want something from me
Something I am not willing to give
My concern and confusion
Leads me to a shaman woman who may be able to give me a clue
Unlock the mysteries of what they seek
and why they want it from me
She reads my feelings
Peers at my palms
Touches my aura
Nods
Takes a deep breath and begins to spin her tale
Long Ago
She begins her voice rising like smoke through the rafters
Long Ago
They were the chosen
They possessed beauty beyond compare
Their voices light and beautiful
notes on the breeze
They were among the gods favorites
invited to every event every affair
The chosen became bored with the constant praises from the gods
the prankster in them was awakened
They took to playing tricks on the gods
Moving scepters
adjusting constellations
The gods knew it was them their light laughter floating in the ethers
Then one day the chosen decided to steal the gods fire
They were caught when they awakened the gods with their laughter
So the gods punished them by taking away their voices
This however made them more stealthy they attempted to steal the fire again
In their haste they dropped the flames
In the river of dreams
And the gods became enraged
This time the punishment would be more severe
The gods took away their beautiful manes
Of dreadlocks adorned with jewels that shined
Replacing it with matted fur that covered their once beautiful bodies
Then the gods elongated their necks so they could only glimpse
the fires they’d never take again
Then to make sure that the fires were safe
the gods took away their arms
So when they look at you
my dear
Your shining locks they remember their fall from grace
And they do want something from you
Two thing in fact

She leans in and whispers
sending a shiver down my spine

The llamas
Watch you because they remember
And they want your arms
Never turn your back on them
and I won’t

therapy

i'm in a strange head these days
fogged over with doubt and neglect
i'm not taking care
and no ones taking care of me
feeling lack luster
and transparent
i don't think i'm happy
not really
not depressed per say
but who knows i could be
feeling out of sorts and out of control
people i thought i knew
forcing me to edit them in my life
not out of my life but in a different place
far away from me
very cool things are happening in some places
but in other places there's a pulling away
that i can't control
wanting to hear i love you
from those who have a choice in the matter
wanting to utter the words myself
holding my tongue for fear the phrase can't or won't be returned
my life has too many
tugs and pulls in different directions
and i like it for the most part
keeps me on my toes
besides
i've never been selfish
i'm the sleep deprived one who will do whatever, whenever
but i find my self wanting to be selfish
but resisting the urge to do it
it's not me
but i don't feel much like me lately
so maybe it's ok
feeling wounded and dazed
like the big hurt is waiting on the edges
tired and can't sleep
thoughtful
but i can't think
or maybe i can and i'm just not paying attention
and not making much sense
whew....free therapy rocks!

WTF

An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus' miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon's capital of Libreville. "He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus," an eyewitness told the Glasgow Daily Record. "He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back." The New Testament records the story of Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee as he approached his disciples in a boat. "And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea." (Matthew 14:25) As WND reported in April, a researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus' miraculous walk on the surface of water – ice.

DUH????!!!! No Ice off the western coast of AFRICA ....It's the tropics you know?

Wild Man Missed

steve irwin is dead and it makes me sad
the world is running out of charactersnot the kinds that make you cringe because their are being extradited from thailand for being a fucking scary human being
but the fun kindi missed an op to meet him or at least see him in person
but tomorrow my students and i will veg out learning about the animals in the world we will watch crocodile hunter the movie
as the very pissy llamas glare at me through my classroom window
i find myself wondering what steve might suggest
one of those fuckers tried to spit on me today
i'm sure he wouldn't have taunted them like i did
teasing them for not having arms
no doubt whatever advice would have been educational and fun

his personality reminds me of me a little bit mostly because

my students portrayed me as a crazy crocodile hunter type teacher several years ago
their point was how can a person be that excited about what they do all the time
i feel the need to hug an animalthe llamas are out cause they want my fucking arms
so a middle schooler will have to do

Poetry Slam - Art Amok - Atlanta

Here is my performance at nationals. the voice is rough!