15/30 showers and nonsense

15/30 showers and nonsense


“MOM!”

He screams so loud from the shower I fear he’s fallen and can’t get up. I damn near break a hip trying to clear the couch and the doorframe to aid him. I throw the bathroom door open breathlessly and shout, “Are you ok?” He peeks around the shower curtain. Asks why I’m breathing so hard and I glare at him. “What is it Zion?” He has heard the tale of the boy who cried wolf so many times I don’t care to repeat it again. Besides, he knows if he calls me, I will come because it’s my job. Damn he knows me well.

“Can I talk to you as a teacher?”

“Sure” I catch my breath hips resting on the sink breathing in the steam of his shower.

“Is the skin on my head the same as the skin on my body?”

“Yes.”

“Hey Mom!”

“Yes Zion.”

“Are you mom or teacher?”

“Dude I am here, what is it now?”

“Mom, why do we have eight bottles of shampoo?”

“Hair has to be washed. I have a lot of hair. I need a lot of shampoo.”

“Yeah, but here’s the thing. With so much shampoo why do you have the soap? Shampoo is soap? And we have a lot of it. So I am going to shampoo my body with the soap that is shampoo.”

“Uhh?”

“Are you going to say that soap is different? This shampoo says that it leaves your hair silky, shiny and smooth. I am a mammal. I am covered with hair. I would like it to be silky, shiny and smooth. You got a problem with that?”

“Uh, no. will you make sure that you are squeaky clean?”

“How you do that?”

“Well, I guess you would run your hand over your skin until it kinda.. well skips.”

“Like jumps up a little?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh Yeah!!! I’m clean!! Says here I have to lather, rinse, repeat.”

“Yeah, you should do that.”

“Oh, yeah!! Thanks MOM!! I’m repeating!!”

“Glad to be of service.”

I notice when I leave there is no towel. I smile, knowing in about five minutes he will be yelling my name like his head is on fire. I won’t run this time. I’ll make him wait. It’s not true cleanliness unless your skin is pruned.;)