in the first dream
i wake naked wonder the house
i do not recognize
i think i know what this means but not yet
in each room i find some forgotten thing
or some lost item of clothing
or some part of me I've neglected
on the stairs there are a pair of shoes
i have never been before
they accuse me of running off at the mouth
of counting things i do not own
they sit there in their shiny blues
a sad song
i do not know the words to
in the kitchen
the ramshackle that is my heart
leans a soggy mess on the counter
every other beat it calls her name in a whisper shout
that
i can not hear
because my ears
are no longer connected to my head
and i think i know what this means
not yet
the last room i care to search
is not a room at all
it is the hollow of a throat i loved
it is my right arm atrophied
missing the form of her gone body
it is the waist deep in memory
and missing all the points
i have never lived here
like i thought
this house has forgotten the shape of me
if i ever find my eyes
maybe they will tell me something different
echo myself back
i think i know what this means
not yet
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