Saturday, December 31, 2005


I got a call from bio-dad yesterday.
He never calls me on purpose so I knew something had happened.
Last time he called me on purpose, it was to inform me that his step-son had been released from prison. Like the event would change my life. He was convicted of robbery, drug possession and all the other shit crackheads do when they need a fix.
He was supposed to go to jail.
This time.
His wife died.
Another event that doesn't change my life.
He wanted me to know when the funeral would be.
Now, this woman hated me.
No more or less than I hated her.
I was the one they used to help cover the affair.
He (bio-dad) would tell my mom he was going to spend the day with the kiddies (all 4 of us), then take us to her house, lock us up in the basement with snacks, TV and toys, with her son, while they bumped uglies. Sometimes we'd be shuffled off to his mom's house. Again locked up in the basement or in the back yard forbidden to enter the house, until given permission.
He met her in church.
So in his head it wasn't an affair.
It's who god wanted him to be with.
God wanted him to leave his wife and children.
God wanted him to use his children as camouflage.
God, I suppose also had a hand in his inability to be honest with his wife about the plan.
So domestic abuse became the tool and the reason he would use to force my mom to leave for all our safety.
Like no one would know he had a church lady on the side.
She's been in bad health for years.
I remember years ago when he finally brought his ass to GA. to meet grandchildren he'll never really know. He brought his fucking mistress with him. How tacky is that? Tried to hide her. When I deduced who she was he asks me not to tell my mother. Like she would give a fuck. I said wow it's true. He said what's true. I told him,"Tell your wife she should have been careful how she got her's seems she's losing hers the same way."
He didn't think that was funny.
I simply said it was true.
Needless to say we aren't close.
My sister wants to know if I'm driving to St. Louis for the funeral.
What do you think?
She thinks I should forget and forgive.
I think I'm bored.
She passed away the day before her birthday.
That's the most interesting thing about this woman.
And possibly the only thing I'll remember about her.

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