Still Life With Scissors 11/30

forgetting you is not working
your face shows up in my coffee
so I suffer cup after cup in silence
with my memories and shaking hands

your shadow etched itself on my ceiling
there you drift at night discrediting my new lovers
mocking their steaming skin
your name on the tip of my tongue
confusing my orgasms

I can forget you for a time
if there be ocean and sand
jelly fish and tides
when you be far off in the distance
an island I cannot travel towards
me on the shore
waving good bye to the war between us

I can move away from you

with the ocean in my face
the salt in my eyes
remembering my gills and scales
releasing the weight of you
I can forget you at the ocean

but in rush hour traffic
you return road rage
a balled fist in my throat
an articulated fuck you
held hostage in the roof of my mouth
eyes everywhere at once looking for the exit
a way to make the lies stop
changing lanes to the tune of your mood
no signals
just acceleration

all the things I loved about you
I still love

so I question if I even know what love means
I mean is it love
when someone accordions you
into every success they’ve never had

Is it love
if they can only love you behind closet doors

is it love
when you make me feel clean and filthy
between blinks