Tuesday, April 08, 2014

7/30 Mirror, Mirror

You look at me hoping to see more
than I can show you
we are not three dimensional
this is flat reflection
you face me
I face you forward
not back
can’t see the demons chasing you
can’t see the full scope of what you allowed
others to do to your self-esteem
can’t work out the incantations of magic
you refused to learn
believing what was said to you
forgetting truth doesn't live everywhere

I can only show you what you see
your vision no longer 20-20
you have decades under
your frayed belt but
but, you always lead with your heart
target practice
you hopeless romantic chasing crushes
not hearing the crushed in your future
this is not the worst I have seen


because of the collateral damage
you put in its path
but those are your soldiers
they live in your army


those days you stare at our reflection
whiskey soaked in sadness
smile and doubt

you shake your head
wonder how you got here
hangovers long gone
but the memories make so much noise

I can only show your surface
not the stumble in your pulse
or the panic attacks you hide from view
but when you talk to yourself
it all makes sense
and I mourn for what I have never seen
never want to
the last time you wiped condensation from my face
I noticed you had grown an inch or two
stopped folding in on yourself
no music
no beat

I love the way you reflect after purges
after the recognition of those empty calories
we look good standing face to face
I know the sad will come again
you will show it to me
when you are not looking

but I savory these times
when I can just make out your wings
looking over your shoulders
I want you to know they are there
but we are not three dimensional
but they are perfect
your wings even though
you've never
seen them

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