Thursday, July 28, 2005

Karaoke...The New Crack!

So if some of you don't know, Turner and Bear rock my world.
They had a reading and discussion last night at Charis about gender, gender roles, trans and other terms and shared some of their personal experiences.
I love them.......
Really I do!

After Turner was all like " So let's go to My Sister's Room?"

I was like,"It's Karaoke Night.?"

Bear was all like, " I Love Karaoke."

Melissa was like," I will come but I'm leaving at 11." She didn't leave til after 1. Not her fault it was the Karaoke Crack.

We go to Karaoke night.
Bear and Turner very excitedly hunting for songs to sing, me nursing my Corona.

Then there was lots of singing
it ranged from good to oh my god I'm so embarrassed for you.

Some how Melissa and I get caught up in Karaoke hell and submit songs to sing.
If I have not mentioned it, I can do a lot of things,
not so much.
So I turned in our songs.
I have never done this before.
Correction, I felt fairly sure that I would never do this in my fucking life.
I karaoke in the shower where only the people in the house at the time have to suffer.
Or in my car windows down so the gushing wing carries my bad tunes up, up, and away.

They call Melissa, who sings 9 to 5, she kicked ass.
Then I realized I could be next!
At the same time I realized that I was no where near enough drunk to do this.
Bear noting my dismay promptly bought me a shot of Tequila.
Still not drunk enough but the smell of tequila on my breath may convince some that I am.

I sing (if in all honesty we can call it that) Lenny Kravits "Fly Away".
I took off my head scarf so the Locks could distract from my actual singing if that is what we agree to call it. Apparently I was better than I thought, because while Turner took Photo's of Melissa (damn camera phones), they got caught up watching and there are no incriminating photos of me in a karaoke induced fit of what I believe we agreed to call singing.

We, Melissa and I actually contemplate singing, (again a questionable description of what we did) another song. But then I did it. There I was having successfully done this embarrassing thing and came out of it with no evidence that it had taken place.
Next thing I know,
and in my defense were just going to say the Tequila kicked in ,
I am on stage with Keisha (who really can sing),
Jocelynn and Turner singing Proud Mary.
When the song gets faster I jump off the stage doing my Tina Turner impersonation.
Lots of jerking motions and gyrations, I'm pretty good at that, next thing I know, the bartender is pulling me on the stage saying "those white girls need to get down, you need to be up there." Coming from a white girl I took this as a compliment. Now, low and behold, there is a video account of that slip, that downward spiral into the scary world of Karaoke. Damn camera phone with video capability!
I think if I stop now I can beat this thing.
It's just like know ......Help!!!!!

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